Every once and a while, Dan likes to serve up a smackdown, I've noticed.

Honestly, I don't know why you'd bother trying to date someone else if you're still writing letters to your ex telling them you love them and you want to get back together. Of course there's not the same passion in your current relationship! You're still pining for your ex! When that passion has burned out, you can…

Plus, you need to be erect to put it on properly.

right way forwards, inside out forwards, right way backwards, inside out backwards. 4. Four days of condom usage.

Didn't one of the MLB teams just draft a woman into their farm system? My brother asked me about it, because Baseball Mogul has for years predicted that 2050 would be the beginning of open baseball.

You want to twist really hard until it comes off.

I noticed none of those, although I guess I'm so used to there being exactly one type of phone in any given movie or tv show, that I'm kind of inured to it.

Really? I thought it was somewhat subtle. There wasn't even a clear shot of the Fiat logo.

I've heard many straight women say they prefer men to make the first move. However, I've also never met a straight woman who having made the first move, regretted doing so.

Hell, that would make you practically married!

When they do that, just point out all the areas in your house where you've masturbated freely whenever you've wanted.

I'm just saying, if you think 4th of July bbq is an odd time, the date where you first have sex is odder.

I was going to say "you can't throw away people!" and then I read that you also wrote "easily cleaned."

I met my gf's parents on our second date, because she lived with them then.

Hey, it worked in Carthage, it should work here!

Lady Bachelor. Although, Bachelor is still kind of "looking" shorthand—"eligible bachelor" and all that. Just say you're living the bachelor lifestyle and then when people complain that's for men, go, "oh, bullshit."

This deserves more attention I think. Good art (in the broader "artistic endeavor" term) is important, but just as important is being there and putting your art out there. There's a reason people labor in obscurity lots of the time.

Love finds a way! It also conquers all!

Reading Savage Love in the morning is like showing up two hours late at the orgy and discovering everyone has already finished except for a few other stragglers and the really dedicated few who still have another hour in them.

Me too, but I think as a man (hey, maybe this is for the Ayatollah), you're expected to initiate the move to dating more. I found if I took too long, I'd discover they'd moved on.