"How'd your combat jack go?"

Balls is quite bad. But everything about the testes is terribly unsexy. Scrotum and testicles are too clinical, plus they both have a harsh "c" consonant in them, and sac is too bro-casual.

I prefer "cum" as a noun form and "come" as a verb form.

I'm imagining it in the context of overheard at the bar. Like, guy bragging to his friends about how a girl drained his balls, that guy's a douche and maybe I'll close out my tab or hope he leaves soon. Girl bragging to her friends about draining a guy's balls, I'm gonna order another beer and see where this…

Some of us may be trained mental health professionals, but, given that on the Internet no one knows you're actually a dog, I would say locate affordable trained mental health professionals in their area and push them to make an appointment. And, of course, the hotlines whenever it seems like a crisis is in process.

"Here's my idea for a new costume for Power Girl, what do you think?"

Is it a double standard if I agree that "drain my balls" is off-putting from a man, but if a woman bragged about giving a "ball draining" bj I would just find that hot?

That's odd, usually when the dog is speaking English and operating a fantastical means of transportation, it means group sex.

TONS. Wall to wall banging. Your spouse will be in the shower and they'll hear you come home and come out of the shower, dripping wet, and drop their towel and be like, "I'm horny, and I brought a friend." Then, when a second person comes out of the bathroom, you'll understand why you thought you heard a strange voice.

I think she's a really savvy, intelligent woman who knows she isn't a campaigner, at least not in the way Americans are traditionally designed to see a candidate as a campaigner. But I think she's quite inspiring, if you dig into her personal history. There're as many flaws as anyone there, sure, but there's a lot of…

That's what I'd figure. People aren't allow to just make specious claims about your life and try and sabotage your working relationships. It might also help repair any damage he's done. Pointing out that the court granted you a restraining order ought to be pretty clear evidence that he's the nutty one they shouldn't…

Yeah, but it's an unpaid position at a nonprofit. She doesn't say if she was forced off it, or left voluntarily, but either way it's difficult to quantify as actual harm. If serving on a charity's board was encouraged by her employer, or if she was unable to find a position on another board, that might be something,…

I think the perception of the silent majority of the friend circle is more like 80% of the electorate. Like, the whole country is being held down because a small minority of immigrant-loving Muslim liberals or conservative DINOs (depending on your political persuasion) has brainwashed the rest of the country/party…

Libel is written, and slander is oratory. The problem is Other Guy would have to demonstrate actual harm, because those are considered to be damaging actions. That could be tricky to do.

Nah, this should be a 100% honesty situation. Because, dude has been paranoid she wasn't satisfied. He's confident now that she is. As much as that's about soothing his ego, it's also about ensuring her pleasure and that her needs are met.

Everyone in your life I end up rooting for is the worst. I'm reserving judgement on Physics Teacher so you can be happy.

Pro-tip for body hacking, a pneumatic piston can increase your thrusting power. You may need a surgeon who has had their credentials revoked to get it installed, though.

That's true. I knew that, though, which is why we have a back-up bottle of silicon-based lube.

Who's the bigger scumbag? The guy who knowingly slept with a married woman, or the married woman who slept with the guy?

I like Clinton. I feel like much of her bad rap is because Sanders ran way way far to her left which meant liberals had to choose between a liberal candidate and a candidate who made liberal candidates look like Robert Taft. Other than that she is a highly experienced candidate with a long track record of supporting…