There was so much I wasn't taught that I needed to know, because they didn't figure out that I was autistic until I was an adult. Since I was "so smart", I think everyone thought I'd just figure shit out, which did not happen. Compound that with parents that are super-conservative, and I'm having to learn a lot of…

I think it's a lesson we don't give enough attention, actually. I mean, I heard "keep your hands to yourself" all the time, but it was generally in the context of fidgeting with things in places where I was bored. On the flip side, I was subjected to tickling that I hated by parents and siblings who wouldn't take "no"…

Yes. I knew people at my college in Georgia who would go on about how much they enjoyed doing this, all the time. This was the late 90s, and hopefully they've learned, but I doubt it.

When I started working for Old Navy in 2000, one of the first things we had to do was pull the girls underwear with "Call Me" printed on them. Sometimes that company can be a little clueless.

The Keebler Coconut Dreams are pretty close: http://www.keebler.com/productdetail.…

I hold out hope for the RiffTrax (god, I hope they do this one). At the very least they should get Elvira as a guest-riffer and then go for it.

Just team her up with "you can type this shit, George, but you sure can't say it" Lucas*. The end result will be fantastically, horrifically robotic, in a 1960s Carousel of Progress** way.

It should be Animal 101, but some people think of pets (and service animals of a pet species) like they're essentially living plushies. My mom has this problem - every time she visits, she wants to fuss and coo over my black cat, Ripley (who, in fairness, incredibly fuss-worthy). Every time, I tell her that Ripley…

Here's one by proxy - the story is my Mom's. She's a Boomer, so the dating scene was a little different in the 1960s, I guess? Anyway, she's around 14, so it's 1966-ish, and this guy she's been sort-of dating from school picks her up for a date. Soon, she notices they're heading north on the interstate (from Georgia).…

Pineapple, beef, and extra cheese. Don't care if it's trashy; it's awesome.

We had two of those where I used to work. I became proficient at un-jamming them precisely because they tell you what to do (with pictures!). When I took a leave for an internship, because my bosses were awesome, one of the engineers called me up to tell me how she'd watched three of the other engineers try to figure…

I'm pretty sure you can get steroids in prison - it depends on who you know, money, etc. It's more likely that his lawyer has advised him to look less threatening by the time the trial rolls around.

When I saw Tropic Thunder in the theaters, LOTS of people brought their 10 and under kids in to see it. That was the same year Jack Black was in Kung-Fu Panda, RDJ was Iron Man, and Ben Stiller had just been in that Museum movie, so I guess people thought it would be a safe R? God, ignoring the gore (because that hit…

In some places, you'd still be stuck with Comcast. They're the only reliable-ish ISP where I live.

I don't what Comcast's hiring requirements are, but I know a guy who just got hired as a tech for Bright House. No experience. No college - tech, two-year, or four-year. Fairly low computer/tech competency for his age range (early-mid 20s). Previous job was as a personal trainer, working off a certification that came…

One of my favorite Cyanide and Happiness strips. (http://imgur.com/gallery/6naHwy…)

Cats, big cats at the zoo, studios/control rooms from the tv stations I work for, and cats.

I have one that likes bowls.

A few things from my cats:

One of mine is a toy dragon. As in, I'll see her carrying her toys into one room, one by one, and when I check on her later she's sleeping on a pile of toys she created. Adorable little monster.