The Oatmeal = satire.

You should see what people try to mail now - personal favs: a live, prize-winning big-mouth bass and three human heads.

Oh. My heart.

Your teeth will look good on my idiot boots.

The pelican is the best part.

But the tourists on the Cape barking at the harbors and the greys need to be tossed in the ocean. Seal do not bark.

+ 1,000,000 ~Mon Mothma is pleased.

For what?

Maybe their father should’ve been more responsible.

You must have missed the incurable, debilitating disease part. They don’t discriminate.

They make me twitch. They look like pajamas and they ride up your butt.

Ah, deflection, ad hominem, and a big old strawman.

Citations?

Josh?

I’ve got the sage smudge and the holy water covered.

Citations required.

How many people are going to his wake just to make sure he’s dead?

My very first thought...

A) Common courtesy

Nebula would rip his arms off.