Schrödinger’s Poor: simultaneously working too many menial jobs to properly raise their terrible children while also lazily living off of welfare.

As a Pittsburgher, this woman is completely infuriating. She had been posting holier-than-thou Facebook posts for a very long time prior to this incident, and I was happy that the station finally took action after this horribly racist and excruciating post.

Everyone knows there are two kinds of wild. Regular and wicky wicky.

It’s really quite simple!

I am so FUCKING over this. Fucking take all the fucking guns and fucking burn them. My husband has hunting rifles. He doesn’t need them that bad. Fuck all this motherfucking bullshit. I have to take my damn Birkenstocks off at airport security, but fucking suspected terrorists can buy guns legally.

To be fair there’s “not perfect” and there’s “has sexually explicit pictures of animal sacrifice.”

Ok, when i read this story i was all “JFC I can’t believe everyone is identifying themselves and using their names”

yeah wow he’s so hot

NO

Eh, I can never work up the rage about Taylor’s love life. If I were as famous and attractive as she is, I’d make out with all the men too.

You know? Fuck no-fly lists. They’re pretty useless. I want to see the firearms equivalent of SIP laws. Nearly every state has laws in place to make bartenders culpable if they serve to intoxicated persons. They may not be well enforced, but they’re there and legal precedent.

Literally everything going on on this webpage is why I have vehemently defended the point that I would not even hate fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.

Lets all agree to only eat Cuban Sandwiches this week so we are eating pork and chicken in equal measure. Also, so we don’t discriminate against pickles.

My personal favorite.

True story: my 70-year-old father (well, he was a couple of years younger at the time) saw MGMT in concert and hated them. When he told me, I was so flabbergasted I couldn’t speak for a second, and then I said “WHY did you see MGMT?” Turns out they were playing and he was bored, so he went to check them out. I mean,…

Sean Penn naming a child has the same process as a 4 year old naming a goldfish.

It’s a shame, you know? This judge had such a bright judiciary career in front of him, it is just a shame that this one little verdict will mess up his entire future.

Pam Bondi: “I was defending the constitution”

Jesus Christ who said anything about partners, for fucks sake? Can’t a woman just ride the dick for a minute and go?

For some reason, I never thought of Trump as having an age. Like a dusty petrified Cheeto discovered lingering behind the litter box, it’s always been there and no one wants to be the one to touch it to get rid of it.