How to stop being a flake and a procrastinator: quit smoking weed.

Freshman year of high school, a guy no one liked spilled an entire bottle of Drakkar Noir in his coat pocket. The stench preceded him like a warning and followed him like a shadow, if only shadows smelled like a low-budget mortuary’s Styrofoam dumpster was on fire. The smell of it still makes me stop on a dime and…

That’s uncanny. Sid Crosby made the EXACT same face after his third concussion.

Here I thought this was going to be a story about the Hill School.

Really? You must not have been there to experience these five immortal words: “Opening Day starter Shane Rawley.”

If he had been wearing a #5 jersey, he would have just puked on it and moved on.

I thought of two more things my dentist told me (while brushing my teeth, of course!): make sure you use a soft brush so you’re not abusing your gums too badly, and also don’t use whitening toothpaste, which contains harsher abrasives and is rougher on gums. Good luck!

He’s wanted to declare for a while, but he’s been Biden his time.

I’ve been fighting the same issue. Get a waterpik, fill it with mouthwash, and use it religiously (once-twice a day). Squirt that germ-killing super liquid in between teeth, at the bottom of your teeth at the gum line, etc, and watch how much nasty shit comes out. It’ll make flossing easier and totally help save your…

I travel with a lot of large books often and am accustomed to extra screening. The issue isn’t that they were mistaken for explosives. The issue with big thick dense books is that they’re opaque to the screening equipment, so the TSA can’t see what is behind, under, or inside them. Thus, they need to look inside every…

Nice. If you see a redhead in a Tigers hat, that’s my wife. You’re not alone down here.

Having grown up in Pennsyltucky, the moment I discovered livermush here in SC, I finally felt at home. I’ve heard various opinions on the ways it’s different from scrapple, but if you fed me livermush at an Amish breakfast joint in Lancaster, PA, I wouldn’t know the difference.

Chris, what do you make of the arguments that this dish with pork is perlo (or purloo) while the chicken version is “chicken bogg?”

In all anonymous candor, the thing I miss most about living in New York City is the ability to fart, audibly or inaudibly, with or without accompanying miasmic stench, whenever or wherever I liked.

Now if Hillman College would only follow suit.

He’s beautiful. I’m sorry you lost him today. Few things hurt worse.

My wife had hers done. They got caught on stuff, showed through a lot of clothing (she was a teacher at the time, so that wasn’t especially helpful), and never quite healed. She took them out after maybe a year or two and never missed them.

You’re enduring something I literally think about every day, and my heart pains to think about what you’re going through. I have three dogs, but I never had dogs until I grew up/got married/etc. so I’ve never outlived one. This week I found a dog on the side of the road that someone had hit. I scooped it up, got it to…

Ben Davis had as much to offer in that clip as the Cubs offense did today.

British Airlines, August 1985. Skip the duck. Like, really, please don’t eat it.