My mom told me when I was, like, 4. "You have 3 holes. The pee pee hole, the poop hole and the baby hole..." She also told me Santa was fake, around the same time.

This.

I have never been with a dude who wants sex more than I do. They always want less. Some of that is being attracted to old dudes... The dick just doesn't do what they want anymore and they don't want to be a bummer in bed.

You have to be mentally unhinged to be so terrified of life that you carry around a loaded fire arm to go to walmart. In Idaho, for chrissakes. Crime statistics are down. The world is safer. You are going to be okay. I don't know what happened to make Americans so filled with hysteria. We've become a nation of gun…

Sadly there is no test for "responsibility," nor will there ever be. There will also be no relief for this child who will live with this for the rest of his life.

Sont these people ever go to a fucking doctor?

I do have to agree with XYP that as far as patriarchal religions go, Judaism has the most progressive wing. Women can be rabbis and cantors. It's difficult to go to a service, though, with all the He's and Him's... Even if the intent is that god is gender less. The lack of statues and idols also contributes to a non…

Calling god god instead of goddess. Calling god he instead of it or she. Communist? Where's you get that? I'm a Titan of business.

This will sound offensive but I believe it 1000%: as a feminist, I don't understand how a feminist could reconcile her feminism with a monotheistic, male God. Patriarchal religions are completely unfair to women.

Oh my Theta, the triangles have a meaning. (One of my best friends is a scientologist. Truth!). First triangle: affinity, reality, communication. Second triangle: knowledge, responsibility and, duh, control.

The internet finds another successful woman to shit on. Congrats, internet. You never disappoint.

I vote for stupid.

Man, I wouldn't get in an uber unless zombies were coming and there was no other option.

I think the best way to battle sexism is to pit women against each other. Divide them up in groups and have them cat fight each other on verbiage.

I actually think Sasheer would be best utilized at the weekend update anchor desk. She's more of a comedian than a sketch actress.

what if I must have a sequined turtleneck RIGHT NOW? Then what?

I'd be happy with a Jewish Moses. I mean... he's one of our top heroes and he's always co-opted by Christians. Boo.

Even though I agree with her, I would not hire that writer.

I take baths in that Braggs vinegar. Also, age seems to help this. Also the boric acid suppositories. The company I used to get them from changed their formula, sadly, but I haven't had the dreaded yeast in years.

She cried cause he's such an asshole.