they should try again, except this time hold biebs under the water for longer...

Upset Nome court:

“I probably caused grief for some victim, perhaps. I’m also regretful that I caused trouble for the staff at the Nome court.

“In spite of these recent developments ...we are grateful for the contributions Det. Abbott made during his time with Manassas City Police...”

Chris Hemsworth > Bradley Cooper. Hotter by miles.

Well, we don’t always get what we want. I’m shocked you even read Jezebel when half the articles are snarky, if not downright insulting, towards somebody.

Yes, people do still use the #winning meme - it’s okay if you’re not exposed to it, though. It is by no means super popular after four years.

Regina George was the original Mean Girl.

Oh but COME ON what she said wasn’t even clever! Like people stopped making Lindsay jokes a few years ago for a reason - it’s old news!

I used to really root for her and I stuck with it even after a lot of other people have stopped but I think it would be best FOR HER to fade into obscurity and live as normal of a life as she can

I mean. Are they pretending Lindsay didn't have substance abuse issues?

Name-dropping Lohan is more effort than it’s worth at this point, even for a joke. Can’t say I’m sorry to see her relevance fading each year.

I hear NRA headquarters is sheltering whites as part of thier Christmas holiday celebration.

Gonna look weird when they both pretend to fall at the same time.

Can we just crown Jeff Goldblum the king of big budget sci-fi/horror cult/camp and get it over with?

I’m completely fine with the very real possibility that I will live out the rest of my life having never watched this video.

Can I raise a motion to never include Seth MacFarlane in Tweet Beat ever again?

My God, that transcript. ‘I ordered you to have a healthy relationship with your father’. THAT’S NOT HOW IT WORKS. THAT’S NOT HOW ANY OF THIS WORKS.

The glass of Chardonnay didn't fall far from the veranda here.