“A feminist,” Carly intones, in a snippet from an old speech, “is a woman who lives the live she chooses.”

Dude, right after I got my last iPhone, or upgraded its OS or something, apparently that was right after they started doing push-alerts? And I got a “HEAVY RAINS!!!! FLASH FLOODING POSSIBLE!!1!!!” alert — with my very loud startling txt tone — AT FOUR IN THE GODDAMN MORNING.

Right?! We’re still a far cry from meeting The Cosby Threshold...

More details, please! Inquiring minds want to know some stuff, starting with: 1) Who were you thinking about murdering? 2) Was it Dick Cheney? 3) Was it Dick Cheney? 4) Did you consider Dick Cheney?

All sympathies to Ben Haggard regarding his father’s death, but those are fightin words, son. Willie Nelson and Hank Williams fans will fuck you up with a broken Lone Star bottle. Townes Van Zandt supporters will use sharpened PBR cans.

Act?

oh and WHO WAS IN PARTY OF FIVE? NEVE CAMPBELL which, who cares, whatever, RIGHT? WRONG! She was in the movie scream! Which is about a serial killer, you see where I am going with this? NO! YOU DON’T! Little known fact about the movie scream, they modeled the mask after the TRUE ZODIAC KILLERS FACE...WELL LOOK AT THIS…

That is a load of crap. I’m holding him to his OWN STANDARD. It has nothing to do with whether I like him. It has to do with whether he can abide by the same moral code he wants to use as the basis for restricting other people’s freedoms.

That's HIS slogan. Interesting fact: he first got his taste for human when he was a member of the Donner party in the Sierra Nevadas!

I’m surprised no one is even talking about that part of the town hall.

TrusTed I’ve never killed on my marital bed.

I bet his sex face is the one thing that could defeat Cthulhu.

TrusTed every murder scene I have fled.

TrusTed on human flesh I have fed.

My vagina ate itself the last time I thought about it so, no.

Tooms was kinda hot. He went method, apparently, and was butt-naked for the escalator scene. Duchovny, I think, kind of enjoyed it.

He was, btw, also on a few early episodes of the X-Files and was, once, a very weirdly sexy man. He played Tooms in two episodes.

Yeah he was Jedi level Douche and white entitlement.

That’s nothing. I was Geraldo Rivera’s moustache from 1983-1987.