Ray Rice gets two weeks (initially).

Well as opposed to the usual suspects, which I'm sure will be cited a zillion times, I'm gonna stretch some people's definitions a bit and suggest Shub Niggurath.

Wow, how blunt of her.

I believe the correct spelling is now "A22-Eating Gossip."

Jeez, Roger, does it take that long to compose a letter of resignation?

The Exorcist. I can only assume people were more easily scared back in the 70s.

Doesn't seem that heavy to me

BREAKING: the NFL has hastily and retroactively promoted Cardinals linebacker John Abraham to executive.

After the spike, the hotline was immediately flagged for excessive celebration.

It's the year 2014 and TMZ has more credibility than the NFL. Well done Roger.

"Sterling got $2 Billion!? I, uh, just *found* a racist Mad Lib I did in 2007!"

Now witness the firepower of this fully ARMED and OPERATIONAL international space station?

Quick! Somebody come up with a duller synopsis of GitS!

+6 the other way

In related news, Giants fans mourn the passing of Eli Manning.

I fully expect Batman V. Superman to end with a doctor looking at Wonder Woman. He says, "It's breast cancer." Roll credits.

And still others are angered by the fact that Sam has been the victim of an apparent double standard, wherein high-profile draftees like Johnny Manziel—white, rich, and straight—are celebrated for racking up endorsements and Instagramming themselves holding fistfuls of cash while Sam, who grew up in extreme poverty…

You're totally right; the way in which he has turned down most of his sponsorship opportunities, canceled the reality documentary after negative feedback, performed well in the preseason, and given one interview since being drafted by the Rams (in which he talked about how performing well in the preseason gave him…

What a fucking piece of shit. I wish I could put some kind of witty spin on it, but honestly, fuck this guy.