Once or twice? December has 31 days, my friend. 

I think I used to rent that basement apartment.

Yeah if you’re a small business owner, or someone who earns their money by basically having to answer the phone - it sucks. It really does. I just don’t think the FCC will do much about it. But I hope to be pleasantly surprised. Who knows.

It’s nice when you have that ability. I need to answer most (or all) calls I receive as many incoming calls are either time-sensitive or the only chance I’m likely to get to gain a customer. I’m paid to use my phone number as my business number for this reason. I also work with a very wide group of clientele from many…

This is Kidnapping 101. When you kidnap white children, the first thing you do is to take them to the busiest store in the neighborhood to buy them items they may need - fresh cut turkey, kale, mayo, cop uniforms - to make sure they fill at home. Than you show them Small Wonder reruns to hypnotize them and finally…

Let me get to it first:

I don’t think its got the publicity of the Butt Fumble, but that throw off his own linemans helmet is just as funny to me.

This is an affront to Yakety Sax.

Are you a woman? I left an abusive relationship and got shit for not being loyal. I also got shit for not leaving sooner. There is no right way to exist.

Imagine if we lived in a country where this could negatively impact a candidate?

It was disappointing to be on the receiving end of such disrespectful behavior from my current representative, but ultimately I’m focused on my campaign

If for no other reason than to see his fake glasses/nose/moustache fly off.

What a fucking douche. People need to punish this sort of shit.

I didn’t necessarily want her to punch him in the face, but I absolutely want her to punch him in the face.

A few months ago my youngest (who was then 2) looked at me as I helped him get dressed & said, “Daddy, you are my best friend.” I was stunned and I’ll admit I got a little teary eyed as I said, “thanks bud.” He immediately folded his arms and turned away with an angry look and said, “Daddy, you are NOT my best friend.”

Sessions. Just so I can blow marijuana smoke in his face and tell him I’m fucking his daughter.

I like butts, though. I think the “Ass Team of the Week” should be a crowning achievement.

Nobody who votes republican isn’t registered to vote already

Kate, I am sorry. But, your pro-nuts argument makes me discount any Chocolate Chip Cookie advice you might give.

Also you can just, like, feel it oozing off James Franco. Through the screen. Definite dick-pic-to-minors vibe.