War.

I’ve always wanted to load a carryon with about fifty dildos plus a bottle of water right in the middle of them. When they open the suitcase to remove the water, a menagerie of penetrative devices exposed to the world, I’d loudly say, “But the dildos are okay, right? Right?!?”

Nine times out of ten it’s an electric razor, but every once in a while...it’s a dildo. Of course it’s company policy never to, imply ownership in the event of a dildo... always use the indefinite article a dildo, never your dildo.

100% of the fish die after being released.

If you hook a shark, it’s going to bleed. TMZ apparently has a vid of it swimming away. BFD, no story here.

Lol, did people expect an 80+ (90+?) year old nun to have nuanced takes on amateurism and the NCAA? A lot of old people have garbage opinions. An awful lot of old people who devoted their live to the Catholic Church have garbage opinions.

From a news article I read they state there is no security footage, but they claim a police officer witnessed it. The fact that the police officer supposedly saw this crime and did not arrest him on the spot for it should tell you how credible the allegations are.

*The 12th Man in Your Mom

Because they’re trained not too. They are trained that their lives are more important than anyone else’s and when in doubt, shoot first.

From everything I’ve seen, watching LeBron work his arts night in and night out is the only thing in the sport that evokes what it was like to watch Magic Johnson every game night. Other players of his era had highlights of course, but even being as jaded towards excellence as watching the Showtime Lakers could make…

I’d rather watch a big pound the ball with his back to the basket for 22 seconds than watch James Harden’s bullshit.

Harden has the corniest game of any superstar in the league. Beyond that fugazi foul above, half his drives involve shoving the ball into a defender and snapping his head back while shrieking. It’s genuinely unwatchable. Which sucks, of course. I’d really like to enjoy watching the team with the best record in the…

Jesus, the person in the red coat riding at that point just disappears into the tangled wreckage.

I’m sorry, this is such a nothing burger comment. Just about every great QB had great playmakers too. There is no doubt that great QBs can elevate guys around them, but I think it’s fair to say that Cousins has done that in DC. Not to a great level, perhaps, but certainly enough that a team like the Vikings can feel a…

Umm, excuse me:

“Most men think this is what sex is”

“Most men think this is what sex is”?? That is ridiculous. Most men reading this are horrified.

“Could you guys, uh, show us an example of something, umm, that, you know, we shouldn’t be looking at? Or a few examples, just so we know, you know ...”

Well, the Royals can say what they want but if Yordano Ventura had stayed at home and watched porn he’d still be alive today. And, possibly, with a better grip on his slider.

Tucker is dead on: It’s so bad for men out here that on some dating apps, you have to let the woman message you first before you send a dick pic! It’s ridiculous!!!!!