Live your truth.

What kind of weirdo replies to someone’s inane comment about chocolate and labels them as insecure?

Practice makes permanent.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again:

I like how he’s all “free thought” and all that, but being buddies with the people in power and not calling them out on their racist, classist bullshit is the path of least resistance.

Nah I’m American and an excellent liar. These people are just dumb.

IDK but Triple H clearly thinks it’s a bad idea.

Don’t sleep on Overstock.com.

This is dumb.

Oh sure, but when I get caught masturbating at work and claim it’s because of “certain male circumstances” I get fired.

As a proud owner of one (1) gargantuan dong, I will not be going anywhere near Giancarlo Stanton, thank you very much. Good day.

Saturday, 11pm.

This is interesting and all but I’d really like to see you guys do hard-hitting journalism like this:

Cynically, he’s a textbook American politician. Zero fucks given about right or wrong. Doesn’t stand for anything. Isn’t really part of a political party. Just does whatever he and his advisors think will play well enough with his inherited base to get re-elected while keeping the corporate donors on board.

You’re doing it wrong.

I have about 10 minutes left until I can get to cooking.

First of all, how dare you?

I know you’re joking because dark chocolate peanut butter cups are literally the best thing on this cursed rock.

Life in prison is a hell of a motivator.

Since the fuckery of college football isn’t anything new, the only thing I’ve actually learned from this specific mess is that you probably shouldn’t fuck with Houston Nutt.