“I wish I was licking this off your pussy.”

Dolphins are known for their blowholes...

He looks like a stale, old marshmallow that just found out a lesbian couple bought the house next door.

Is there a way to send potential article topics to the site authors? I know old Gawker used to have an option, but I’m not seeing one.

He, and Lisa Bloom, can fuck right off with this “dinosaur learning new ways” (direct quote from Bloom in the article). He’s 64, not 106. My father-in-law is 81. He was a top boy in the banking industry in his youth, including doing finance for many films in London in the 60s and 70s. The man has some amazing tales.

Little know fact, back in the 1960s and 70s, men actually had tiny turkey brains so any time they showered there was always a risk that they would look up at the showerhead and open their mouths, thereby drowning in the process. Because women were too smart to do this, it was actually imperative they every man had a…

Yeah...whatever they did in the editing stage is not good.

I did not recognize her in that photo. :(

I feel like we’ve actually broken America and maybe the only thing that can come of it is the Twins might actually beat the Yankees.

Catalina should be coming home on or around the 10th - just one more weekend to go!! This week she had a bunch of testing done to see what she will need for home care. So far we know she will need her CPAP for at least 2-3 months and she doesn’t need a g-tube for her feeds (we’re still working on downing the whole…

While they’re at it, I wish the coders could make again so that you see which of your many witty posts are recommended in the notifications. Now it just says “X people recommended your reply” and when I click to see which one, it doesn’t even take me to that reply, just the headline of the post I replied to.

Just FYI for the Jezebel website coding people: At least on mobile, that scrolling Katy Perry perfume ad is rendering the first article unreadable because it doesn’t clear/collapse and instead blocks most of the text. To the Katy Perry perfume people: Pissing off the consumers of whatever you’re sponsoring is a good…

I got the vapors reading this. Wild ride, sister.

As I said before, I a mother tongue French, and geste like saying je regrette mon geste is appropriate in French for what he did. 

That name really embiggens her.

Wait. If this means Kylie will bop around in a beret, yellow yarn wig and a macrame or blue vinyl top and jean jacket all the time, I’m 100% here for it.

Jedidiah?

Well, Meghan may be American and divorced but she’s not a Nazi. So, she still has one up on Wallis in any decade.

I wish there was a regular gym for women only in my area. If I have to remove multiple 45b. plates from one more machine because some meathead bro-dude left them there to show everyone he’s a yuge penis-haver I’m going to morph into a fucking modern day Valerie Solanis.

Donald Trump is so vile he’s got ME, a Cleveland Cavaliers fan, rooting for the goddamn Warriors.