“Yes sir, welcome to the Marine room. Our specials today are a salmon en croute with a brown butter buerre blanc, truffled potato puree and an assortment of seasonal locally sourced seasonal greens or an...old bucket full of various fish parts.”

I hope the sea lion was careful not to eat too fast. wouldn’t want him to get the hiccups

QUICK, SOMEONE ASK HER *OPINIONS ABOUT VACCINATIONS*.......

Hold me BACK! The Rohirrim have a rich cultural tradition and are not vassals of Gondor.

My parents fed us bee pollen when were kids and that’s why I’m invincible now. SORRY, STUPID FRAGILE HUMANS.

people who eat enough bee pollen can f*cking LEVITATE.

Excuse me. Rohan is an entire region of noble horse lords. The city is Edoras. (Pushes glasses up on nose.)

That’s why I make sure I’m awake by 11:00 AM. It’s really that 30 minutes of peace and quiet that makes being a morning person so rewarding.

I find it delightful that she eats all that ridiculous shit, yet her name is Bacon.

can’t wait until someone tells her that she, too, will die like everyone else

It’s beginning!! He’ll never accept a loss, or entertain the notion that his campaign was fairly beaten. This is the first step down the path of running as an independent! Bwahaha!

LET ME AT EM.

This really is a neat write up of an alt-universe. I love the included nose droop of the 70's era, for the record.

How it could have been.

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t love such responses. What am I, made of stone?

Hey, you haven’t yet had any gushing responses telling you this is an impressive work of creativity.

His health is FANTASTIC!
The healthiest person EVER!

Oh my god I want to be a cop now so so bad and that’s not right.

“Police officers do not get paid to get stabbed or shot,” Forcillo argued. “They are paid to go home in one piece.”

.....HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!…