listen, let’s not let the wacko conspiracy theories overshadow Hillary’s actual health problems. i have extensive experience in this area and there is literally no issue more debilitating than seasonal allergies. what if her hands are covered in mucus and she hits the “bomb the earth” button by accident? what if she’s…

I know they’ve made a solid effort to push the “kinder, gentler Hillary” narrative to appeal to men who are scared of an ambitious, aggressive woman, but I am so glad she pulled out this speech. We all know you are a shark, Madam Secretary, and we want to see you rip this nasty little goldfish to shreds.

So don’t call people on their bullshit and evil because if you do they’ll be bullshitty and evil?

I just poop at work because I like to think in that specific moment, someone is paying me to poop.

Real talk y’all, I tried one of those fit teas (I know, I know. Bad body image and weight gain coupled with long work hours that keep me from working out, I got desperate). They are poo teas. All you do is poo. I kept the leftover tea around in case I ever get seriously backed up. That can’t be healthy to drink all…