It was a poo! It was a poo! is my mantra

Agree agree agree. I referred to this in a comment above as a ‘legit moral grey area’ but really I think the best arguments for not telling are for ‘one night stand at a conference hotel in Tulsa’ kind of situations. I actually might not want to know if my husband had a one-timer that he felt so awful about it would…

LW2 and I think I might have fallen in love with Dinosaurs and Nachos. Thank you. I just want somebody to love me that way and maybe if I hold out, they will, maybe not, who knows. Thank you both. As I posted up earlier, he dumped me and man, if all of your comments aren’t the best thing to make me feel ok about it, I…

Yes! I am still stuck on that. When did the LW meet the mother? What did the boyfriend introduce the LW as? So many questions. If she met the mother while he was married and he introduced the LW as his girlfriend and the mother said nothing, I think we would then know where he got his assholishness from.

Wow.

#teambetty

But if I were in an open marriage, I would be horrified if my husband was having years-long relationships with people and not telling them he’s married and has a kid. I mean, the idea behind an open marriage is that honest non-monogamy is better than dishonest monogamy because you don’t want anyone being lied to or…

You can have a nice time with someone and they can be a decent person - but if their end goal is not the same as yours RUN. One-sided relationships will always lead to misery in the long run.

Knuckles Deep makes me sad because she describes herself as crazy and needy - now unless she’s broken into his house and stolen his child’s bunny and boiled it, I think “crazy” is some bad self-talk. She isn’t needy - she’s a person with needs and you only feel “needy” when those needs aren’t being met. I hate “love…

What the fuck is this advice?? I feel like this column is written as a joke. ?? Of course tell the wife. Telling the letter writer not to blow up their marriage is absurd, the A. Hole already did that. She doesn’t have to be an asshole about it but Jesus Christ, tell the wife. She’s a mother and deserves to know the…

All of this. PLUS, she’s not that happy, or she wouldn’t have written the letter. Non - commitment isn’t enough for her to feel happy and secure and for a lot of people that is normal. She shouldn’t fight her instincts. Break up and get back in the dating game. The 40s are a sweet spot for divorced men—she can find…

You are right!!! We have to assume the mom knows her son is married and has her freaking grandchild.... Hmmm.... This is intriguing. Unless she was introduced as a “friend” somehow. Or this guy is a lying nut job playing every person in his life for some sick reason. I was married to someone like that, so it’s…

WTF just rename this the “shut up about your feelings women - be happy you have a guy, even one who sucks” column.

I kind of feel like “I met his mother” got glossed over here. What’s THAT story?

Right?!

Sometimes I feel like Jane is really just a mouthpiece for the All Party Committee to Combat Footling Social Misunderstandings.

I get it. It’s a “good” problem to have, and feels like sour grapes, but dreading how you spend more than half your waking hours is a shitty way to go through life.

I can’t think of other situations in which you are allowed to blow up another person’s marriage, but I’m sure our commenters can come up with some.

No. No you do not blow up a marriage that you are not a partner in, ever, unless someone is being physically or mentally abused.

I have the opposite problem as the first letter writer: I have a job that pays me gobs and gobs of money, has amazing benefits, and would basically be the apex of most people’s careers in my field. But, I hate it and it makes me miserable. Just yesterday I applied for a job that will be a nearly $40,000 pay cut, a…