See this shit right here? This is why I’m #TeamMiranda. Because at least her songs resemble country music. And aren’t stupid as hell.

thank you, anna!

“i’m from Fairview, ain’t nothing to do out there but smoke pot, screw and tip cows.”

Meanwhile, The Weight of the Wings goes platinum with its biggest single stalling out at #11. Suck it, country radio.

Ah yes, body like a backroad.

Everyone on country radio right now is a teenager dry humping. Especially the 40 year olds. See also , Angeleena Presley’s parody:

He didn’t really think this through. Big old buckles clacking, CATCHING on each other. Who the hell dry humps with a belt on? No wonder these country droogs don’t know when a woman is pregnant half the time.

“Engaging In Comfortably Casual Foreplay To Country Songs” wasn’t as catchy.

Now you are going to tell us he does not like to do it to country songs.

HORK

We rub them belt buckles ‘til they shine like chrome

Blake Shelton doesn’t sing country songs.

Blake Shelton doesn’t sing country songs.

I assumed the child in question would be like, a 17 year old fan (which is still gross and wrong). But no, he exposed himself to a child “under the age of 13" ??? YOU ARE A PEDOPHILE. How the fuck is he not in jail?

Oh. My. God. There’s more than I thought there were. Thanks?

What? Which one of her sisters is named Kim?

Yes he went on another rant because I was asleep and he was still posting so clearly I wasn’t censoring the things I agree with or some shit.

Allow me! Kris is the mom. Kim is the famous one who is Kim Kardashian. She has a sister who has the same name. And then there are the two Jenners and a boy...

To each their own. And no one cares about your boner.

I (male) have done this so many times. Buzzed it all off, dyed it blue and then buzzed that off a week later, full on mohawk, gave myself a haircut with scissors.