your dumb

Dear Bride,

This is a first world problem if I’ve ever seen one.

Nothing. Tequila’s where it starts and where it ends.

When I read it (in the 70s) the articles were far better than the pictorials.

Agreed. She and Chelsea Handler are aggressively unfunny.

Regret.

Meh, no big loss.

Lost In the Time of Cholera

There should be like a 6-8 word limit on coffee orders. You could still get a grande soy latte with an extra shot, but a word limit would require your order to remain in the realm of reality.

So do all the people waiting in line behind you for just black, three sugars.

@Ingrid Michaelson: Your barista hates you.

“It’s not that I would never talk about it, but it’s that nobody cares about what I have to say about that. It’s not going to sway anybody in any direction, and if so, they’re probably young kids that should do their own research about who they want to vote for.”

This doesn’t seem all that unreasonable?

“Americas Most Hilarious Wood Chipper Mishaps!”

I feel like the fan base is slightly different. I’m sure most of Biebs fans want a romantic relationship with him and will be aggressive if they think it as an appeal at their sexual/romantic availability while for T-Swift her fans want to be her gal pal and give each other manicures and share homemade baked goods.

Im pitching a new show called “Americas Funniest Radiation Poisonings”.

The Emergency Signal’s gonna lose hard on this.

I mean... or we could refer to Anne Wojcicki’s own (not insignificant) accomplishments like 23andme and not treat her like another man’s former property. Please and thank you.

This twit-spat is such a microcosm of what it means to be an American voter in 2016.