I’m pretty sure she’s being sarcastic. She’s a sarcastic kind of gal

Ugh I had to stop watching that show because it literally made NO SENSE and I just kept screaming at the screen THAT’S NOT HOW ANY OF THIS WORKS.

Is it sometimes referred to as ‘led’ and not ‘lead’? Am I losing it? Or still drunk from last night? Has my home filled with carbon dioxide and caused me to finally abandon the tenuous grip I’ve painstakingly maintained with reality until this moment?

If you are a Packers fan and under 25, you should know that this is what quarterback play looks like to much of the NFL. It is what you have to look forward to someday.

I bet you get a kick out of saying NATIONAL FOOTBAW LEAGUE out loud.

hahahahahahahahaha

Yeah, Papa John’s isn’t selling well because Papa John was bitching about NFL protests, and not because they sell shitty toilet pizza made of cardboard and garbage.

When asked for his opinion on the situation, Russell Wilson glanced around nervously and pissed his pants before discussing the Seahawks positive locker room culture.

I for one cannot wait for someone to ask Cam Newton about this

Counterpoint. Fly Delta ALWAYS. Get status. Fly 50 segments a year and NEVER have a problem.

Admitting to being Roger Clemens sounds like a good way to get yourself tased.

“In the criminal justice system, the people are represented by two separate yet equally important groups: The police, who are are trying to plant some shit on me, and bitch I got lawyer money.”

But does he have “an adequate amount of money saved up for a rainy day when the Seahawks cut his dumb ass” money?

This take was SO bad, that Drew made it a standalone article, rather than in the JAMBOROO that comes out later TODAY!

Oh FFS!

I just want my seaQuest reboot, dammit. That show deserves another chance.

Me, upon seeing Stamos’s fiancee’s post:

I was a political science major, and I have been doing a lot of thinking about what a Jones upset would mean. It’s pretty significant, and requires a fair amount of nuanced thinking. So I apologize in advance if this gets kind of dense and long, but here’s the analysis of someone who studies and thinks about this…

All together now: