Dear Entire Town of Dearborn, Kansas,

Tell us more about your bacon fantasies.

Images from People Against The White Moose Cafe...

I’m a guy, and this horrifies me more than I can express.

You know why female praying mantises eat their mates after they copulate? Because they know that assholes like this exist.

I think people mistake the benefits of icing with being some kind of panacea. Icing can be a good treatment for inflammation, and there’s limited evidence that ice baths can be good. But this cryotherapy? It’s basically taking a good thing to an extreme.

What do you want, regulatory oversight? Why do hate America, you jobkiller.

If she died in seconds, would it have mattered if there were someone there with her? Also, is anyone else freaked out that something that could kill you in seconds is being overseen by what I can only imagine are the same kids running the SunTan City?

Does anyone know how to become a contestant on Shark Tank?

We had one like that. (We had to put him on a diet, but it was only to get him down to 25 pounds from 28.) He was part Maine Coon, and also, I think, part Buick.

I just adopted this kitten a couple hours ago and she is asleep on my shoulder right now, you guys.

Anyone else terrified for these women and the employees? I would not put it past these assholes to leak all that personal info to anti-choice psychos.

On the plus side: the kid probably is getting a fat settlement check, because the business owes him triple whatever it was supposed to pay him during the year. Labor law is not my area of specialty, but to my understanding (I am an attorney) employees are entitled to treble damages for any unpaid wages that the…

Wait...unpaid training periods aren’t illegal?! What psychotic legal gimcrack is used to justify that?

Troll Level: Activist

She’s not a heartless, child-kicking racist. She’s a heartless, child-kicking, LITIGIOUS racist. Duh.

“Yesterday, Richard Cohen wrote a piece about tipping. Oh boy. Strap the fuck in.”

He could have condensed his entire column down to “I like to play God.”

If there’s anyone out there that actually thinks being poor is simple, then they deserve a right punch in the face.

You call it science, I call it “something I wrote up instead of working out today” XD