I recently worked in a coffee shop for 8 months and my attitude went from medium level misanthropy to believing the world should be cleansed with fire for the myriad sins of humanity. There were no massacres because I honestly did not want to go to jail for these people. Also it would have been a 10 minute round trip…

This entitled housewife looks back at her impressionable child and calmly says “She is yelling because that girl deserves it, the service is terrible every time we come here.” And then she looked me straight in the eyes.

Just make sure it doesn’t taste like despair.

Economically viable synthetic meat can’t get here soon enough.

Its Uzbekestan airline, not surprised , Samoa Air has been doing it for a while.

Yes this.

I’m going to make this really simple for her. I work for the government in her neighboring state of West Virginia. When I was hired for this position, I had to sign a dozen or so pieces of paper that regulate my conduct while I’m acting as a state official. For instance: I can’t have a political bumper sticker on my…

You don’t want to issue marriage licenses without discriminatory practices and according to the actual law? Get another effing job. Vegetarians don’t work at Burger King. Bigots shouldn’t work at the Clerk’s Office.

Jesus tapdancing Christ... How do you manage living on that island? Everything is trying to kill you AND waffles “aren’t a thing”?

That prancing ninnyhammer is about as bright as a black hole and twice as dense.

I don’t know what republicans want. They don’t want women to be able to have babies they don’t want woman to be able to avoid having babies.

I’m a mental health professional and erasing the experiences of people who are suffering like this woman obviously was because it’s not as attention grabbing as “ghosts!” really pisses me off. Rather than try and understand the physiological and psychological causes for people’s behaviour, you’d rather attribute it to…

WELL GET IN TOUCH WITH JAMES RANDI AND COLLECT YOUR MILLION DOLLARS IF WHAT YOU’RE CLAIMING IS TRUE.

When I hand it to her, I tell her, “No charge for the extra blood!” She doesn’t even blink, snatches the package and leaves.

While I’m generally sympathetic to the plight of the formerly incarcerated when it comes to job hunting, my sympathy dries up somewhat when you lash out in anger and (however accidentally) maim someone.

He didn’t want to got jail because he feared losing his job. That’s some responsible shit right there.

New show on TLC! “Say Yes to the Duress!”

Traditional marriage is between one defendant and one innocent bystander.

What’s this about the sanctity of marriage?

Of course there is a Comic Sans one.