The best thing about getting older is being ignored by disgusting men like him.

Shit like this is exactly why people need to learn how to cross-stitch early in life. Nothing like stabbing some fabric hundreds of times to really let the steam off.

I don’t get rich people, either. If I won the lotto, Is build one of them log cabin jawns up in the mountains on a lake and fuck everyone. I fucking hate people. I also haven’t drank in a week and it’s starting to affect me.

My job is my job. My catharsis is cross-stitching and no one can take that from me.

Umm, you’ve been able to buy this kind of stuff at museum gift shops for forever. How is this revolutionary?

“Furthermore, we suspect all women in question are addicted to abortions and have collaborated on this slanderous attack by means of a private email server.”

I know it was just a typo but your “a bout” for some reason is somehow registering to me as a Canadian accent. :)

Wait, didn’t they already know a bout the harassment? They must have heard about them already if they paid $13 million to the accusers. Or maybe they just write checks to anyone who asks for them, no questions asked.

Baby’s First Scam.

The second part of that lemonade stand story In The New Yorker is kind of revealing, too, but in a different way:

Ding, ding, ding! I was just going to suggest this. Event dates like hikes, first Thursday or third Sunday Gallery Walks, farmers markets. Shorter, easier event dates, not scaling Mt. Everest kind of hikes.

Performance anxiety then. I have no info on what kind of activity you choose for dates, but if you’re in a traditional “we’re on a date” setting (coffee, lunch, dinner etc) the unfavorable experiences you’ve had before and the fact that there’s not much to do but stare at the person across from you and talk might be…

It’s the week-end! Everybody knows that war can wait until Monday!

Now that I’m a middle aged white woman I’ve often thought I should become a spy or detective. Nothing is as invisible as we are! I’m a pretty good shot too!

Only if it ties ties room together

Literally the only Republican I am still distantly connected to used to post those “tough parenting” memes on facebook all the time, so this ideology totally appeals to them (what was that thing we all learned about these republican voters, that they’re all authoritarian personalities?) . Anyhow, she used to post…

Sometimes when I see ridiculous commercials, I try to imagine what that pitch meeting must have been like, and I feel like the phrase “protest is the new brunch” was uttered in this one.