This is very strange. Now that I am watching this I find that I cannot make myself turn it off.

Um, Marlins Man did it, so by definition every Marlins fan could.

Make sure the water to dog ratio is correct

“it was a back tooth, Hank.”

Am I allowed to laugh at this asshole being named Penis Man or is that insensitive?

Sounds more like the reporter didn’t have hot enough takes.

I know but for some reason the dipshit ran for president and somehow won.

We could, but it may be easier and more fun to just attack all Seahawks fans.

12th man hates 13th amendment.

Let’s not miss the most important part of this story: His Peyton Manning (18) Colts jersey has Marvin Harrison (88) sleeves.

Mike Piazza needs someone to negotiate on his behalf. I suggest Jimmy McMillan:

JOIN THE MOVEMENT!!!!

Can’t believe you forgot to mention Piazza’s partner in this venture, Jimmy McMillan.

Obligatory

“Just stand there and watch me while I make some batter.”

Not if he runs as a Republican.

How. Dare. You.

I spent most of my teen years as an Anheuser-Busch procurement manager. 

“OKAY, WHO LET RIKER IN?”

South Carolina certainly didn’t feel this interested in standing for the US flag a little over 150 years ago.