A high school buddy of mine had one of these: an early 1980s Mercedes 240D. Slow, great fuel economy, built like a tank, and it came with a stick shift so you can learn to actually drive a car and not just ride in it. I still say it's the best first car.

"I could buy your whole family!" A law should be passed where if anyone says that then the offended party gets to give a free brass knuckle punch to the teeth. I can't wait to win the lottery and spend most of it economically ruining the companies of guys like that. Obviously this guy can't handle the responsibility…

V8 Supercars ITM 400 from Pukekohe, New Zealand live and free on V8 SuperView in just under 2 hours.

Lotus.

Very tame compared to the other suggestions,

I don't know about you, but that is the nicest looking soda machine I ever used. And its probably the only soda machine that I have made eating decisions based upon.

Diesel Unimog 416 DOKA.
I would uparmor it, add a camper box and a roof rack.

Most military vehicles are required handle rather large cargo capacities, for their given size, off road. Consequently, when at curb weight, they are terrible to drive on road. A couple years ago, Oshkosh Defense entered the SCORE Baja 1000 race with a L-ATV vehicle. Semi Active full independent suspension, diesel…

I nominate the Ripsaw prototype made by Howe & Howe. It has a 650hp Blown 427 and does 0-50 in around 4 seconds. Before I get ripped into, yes I know that once the military got a hand on it, they loaded it up with heavy armor and made it unmanned. But that it why I nominated the human-operated prototype. Ridiculously…

And you don't even need a real one! Just ask North Korea.

M37 Dodge Power Wagon, obviously

Nothing says "get out of my way" like an ICBM

A Wolf-spec Defender 110 for me. I am very biased as I used an RAF Helicopter Support Variant as a daily for 3 months at Camp Bastion and absolutely loved it. Starting to see quite a few creeping onto the second hand market over here now and I'm very tempted!

Land Rover Defender. Because I am biased.

Fiat 126

If you want to force me to drive a GTV, I will not complain. Seriously, make me drive a 1750 GTV. Do it.

If it has to end, it should end with style.

I sure hope mine will look something like this. A classic porsche on modern rubber and in good upkeep can easily outlast the owner. Or alternatively, if you feel you're in for a long and messy affair with a terminal illness: exit stage left in a ball of fire.

FFS, people. This is the real issue.

"accelerate —> pull out to pass —> pull back in."
I prefer to Put it in —> Accelerate —> then pull out.
This does not always work though, I have kids to prove it.