I don’t want to live in a world where Canada is (politely) dunking on us.

I think it’s more like the your neighbour hearing your father is getting fucked by his Russian lover and offering to buy you a pizza until your mother kicks him out of the house forever.

The best thing about AOC is that she shows another kind of politician is possible. For decades we have been told that we only have a choice between your average evil republican and your run of the mill spineless democrat. After a lifetime eating thin gruel, we look over to the other table and see they have steak. Why…

Yeah, well 4000 divided by 6 equals 666!*

Did you miss the part where I said “I’m not condoning non consensual touching of other people, at all.”

“I wonder if she’s gonna go on a crusade and take down all the fences and walls across this country. I certainly hope not,” Sanders opined

Trump dying because of a rage stroke (possibly while on the toilet) has to be the odds on favorite for cause of death.

Trump Reportedly Threw a Tantrum After His Meeting Tantrum With Nancy and Chuck

I wonder if, in his heart of hearts, it ever occurs to him that God might not have a special plan for his life, and this is it, all that it has been leading to, and all it will ever amount to - playing forgotten second-fiddle to a universal embarrassment.

Very Stable Genius

“[Trump] remarked about how Schumer wouldn’t make eye contact with the president and was actually looking back at the cameras as he was making comments to the president, but directing those comments to the camera. It frustrated the president more than what worried his aides.”

I get giddy thinking that, at this very moment, there’s a good chance that smug fuck Don Jr. is pissing his pants over this.

I’m no criminal lawyer, but it seems to me that for Flynn to get such a lenient recommendation from Mueller it means that whatever information he shared with the investigation was, in legal parlance, really fucking good.

FLYNN FLIPPED, BABY!

Lock him up.

Paul Ryan is the kind of guy who lifts weights naked in front a mirror.

An excerpt from the new compendium of off-the-record conversations with Paul Ryan: Atlas Unplugged

Why not found a masturbation-obsessed men’s organization of your own?