Her reaction tells me that Huey is her father. He should have chased after her screaming: If this is it, please let me know if this ain’t love you’d better let me knoowww.

YASSSS

My girlfriend and I saw a Beachboys concert when we were sixteen. Yes, dinosaurs still roamed the earth. Anyways, after the concert, she found out what motel they were in and we drove there. Other girls were already rushing the stairs when we pulled up. We started running up the stairs and I peed my pants. I mean I…

I like to imagine when he dies and makes it up to the pearly gates, that’s how St Peter will greet him. “Nigel Barker, noted fashion photographer.”

Why doesn’t Katie just realize that her opinion is irrelevant here? Clay’s not talking about women like her. He’s talking about attractive, young, single women with disposable income who like sports. You know, like Clay Travis’s mysterious alter ego.

I've had a long day and it took my brain way too many seconds to realize the headline said Reynolds, not Gosling, and that this meant I didn't need to care.

speaking of wu-tang... method man did a music video with amy schumer. also featuring amber rose, amber rose tamblyn, jemima kirke.

My mom, who is in her early seventies, is completely eyebrow-bald from mid-point outward; has been for decades. She draws the missing part in every day, and if she's in a hurry, one side gets very Vulcan. Apparently it was what one did?

I said this exact same thing in an earlier post. Why isn't this considered child sex trafficking? Of course he would deny knowing that he was giving them to a pedophile but whatever. At least fucking charge him with it so it goes on record.

Due to threats of possible abandonment charges

Oh, fuck off you gigantic piles of fucking shit for humans. There are goddamn programs to help with things like reactive attachment disorder and if you had contacted DHS with your concerns and let them know about the bind you were in, they could have helped you find appropriate support and probably worked along with…

I was thinking more of him breaking the fish tank because I'm very clumsy and I'd be swimming in glass.

I would totally do this if I had an otter. And since I'm an otter too, we would hold hands and never be separated. It would be otterly beautiful.

That turtle pooped in that water.

It's going to be hard, but I WILL NOT DO IT!

I am totally going to think about it in the future and it is going to ruin handshakes for me.

I've never sniffed a hand or even thought about it. I hope to hell I don't think about this when shaking hands in the future. But it does beat sniffing butts.

One of the best things I've ever seen.

His name was robert opal. 2 men tried robbing the studio he worked at & he was shot if memory serves. Still, making the greatest Oscar moment of all time & being the butt of a pretty sweet zinger is a pretty cool thing to be remembered for.