The Countess

Nope. Let’s keep our mind on the real victim here: Hills Got Mail, on behalf of Val Kilmer.

I think it’s becoming quite clear that you just want to go after Jezebel here. The Joni Mitchell article deals with a different situation - her health problems were on the record, Kilmer’s aren’t, and that’s clearly how he wants it. I also don’t think there’s a huge difference in tone, as Bobby is also pretty snarky…

Nice Val Kilmer denied that he is ill he clearly either doesn’t need the empathy (because he’s not sick) or he doesn’t want it (because he denied). While you seem to have this burning need to treat him as poor dying Val he apparently doesn’t want or need it. I had someone blab about personal medical problems before…

Val kilmer told the press he doesn’t have cancer. Michael Douglas tells the press Val Kilmer is dying of cancer. Either Michael Douglas is lying or he revealed things Val Kilmer told him in confidence. Both options make Michael Douglas a huge asshole. which is why the author makes fun of him.

It absolutely was not Michael Douglas’ story to break. Don’t sell your co-workers personal medical issues with the press. That’s despicable.

Well, yeah, but waiting when you are a teenager virgin versus waiting when you are a multiple-times divorcee in your 40s are different decisions...

Shouldn’t that be ‘Dirrty’?

For some reason this story screams Jesse Jackson. I’m sorry you had to go through that. Good on you for protecting yourself.

Because, when you get right down to it, who makes better ethical decisions than the Catholic church?

I was surprised that the the O’Hare airport hook up story didn’t get chosen. I thought that was one of the scariest!

TRUTH.

Why the fuck are you talking about shoes?

Or her Sound of Music medley at the Oscars. Or when she was doing this exact same thing promoting her first album. Or her second. And so on. I mean, even just listening to her sing her regular pop songs with all the trappings you can tell she has a great voice. Honestly she’s been doing this forever, and I don’t get…

Nice burying the lede there. Real story: what’s up with this picture of Raven-Symone and Billy Zane? What’s going on there?

Really? Because I was once in line at Whataburger and BILLY ZANE was ahead of me and turned around and flashed a that big ol’ Billy Zane smile and said “her lunch is on me” and so I ordered extra cheese AND jalapenos, god damnit. Billy Zane is okay in my book.

You gonna have to take that back because otherwise you’re insinuating A League of Their Own was bad and I will have to murder you.

Too much. You don’t need that extra detail; it’s cheesy and unbelievable. The story is good on its own already.

Yeah, this is 100% not true, but it’s absolutely delightful all the same. :)

And the one about Atheists never being able to resist telling everyone what they don't believe in...