Former President.

All I care about this awards season is “Mad Max: Fury Road” getting an Oscar nom for Best Picture, because one of my friends and I like to to do the AMC marathon where they show the Best Picture nominees back-to-back.

I just love the idea of sitting through serious drama after serious drama about gender issues and…

The best part about this is the people in the USA Today comment section bitching about how she must be “a liberal.”

Suri’s dad.

I remember reading that she pursued him. HARD.

No, it is spelled out that it is her brother.

Ponytail holder around the wrist? We must have the same stylist.

Hehe, my friends and I still do that. You know you’ve reached adulthood when no one wants to be Carrie anymore.

Sincerely, a Miranda

Especially when the murder happened like, 2 days ago.

I only paid $35, so he obviously likes me better.

I used to love the Pioneer Woman - when she was just a blog with awesome recipes. First time I saw her (and heard that voice!!!) I began to hate. So phony.

I vaguely remember a commercial for pads designed to fit plus-sized underwear. This had to have been 15, 20 years ago? It was a slightly chubby woman doing that straight-at-the-camera “this is so serious” thing talking about how pads don’t fit. I also remembering men laughing hysterically at said commercial, because…

Eh, it wasn’t “in the name of loving them too much.” He just enjoyed murdering.

I have a friend from high school and college who has always been obsessed with France, in the way that only teenage American girls can be: Eiffel Tower posters, studied French, tiny fleur-de-lis tattoo...

I don’t like Taissa Farmiga. Come at me.

Nah, to hell with anyone who lets her kid get treated like that. I’m not going to say, “It’s not fair to call that guy a douchebag; who knows what he’s been through?”

I thought it was sweet, too, until I saw they included what looked like hotel housekeeping staff. I’m sure Kris really does LOVE all of her friends who are hotel maids. They probably hang out all the time.

Maybe you’ve always been lucky enough to turn it off before it gets to that line!

You know what really gets me about it? We’re told that the choir of children practiced all year long - And all they sing is “Ding dong ding dong.”

Oooh, what has she said recently???