I have a Pitch for an existential drama. It's called "life." But its so depressingly no network would pick it up.

And so begins 2017's reign of death.

Oh, I'm sure this will help my crisis of faith.

Do the Buffy comics count?

If I could afford it. My uncle is a hard-line right winger who lives in San Diego and constantly sends us e-mails about how liberals are evil. I don't get it.

The former word sounds only marginally less stupid.

He's really Gabriel.

There's more money in space.

I don't know, immediately after someone said" Let's make an Iron Fist series," that should've been the next logical thought to enter the person's brain. If they weren't seriously considered, and you work on Iron Fist, then your thinking skills are seriously impaired.

Yeah, I'm sure it's a marketing gold mine.

Could a lightsaber cut Adamantium?

They had the opportunity to get Yuen Woo Ping or Yuen Kwai. This isn't something I can forgive, Marvel.

The market for LEGO among grown-ass men amazes me.

Yeah, the first was way better than it had any right to be, but it was kind of a pleasant surprise. We really don't need this spun off 37 different ways.

Well, at least this means that there will be one movie with Jackie Chan in it released on Blu-ray in and DVD its original aspect ratio, with the original sound mix, quality picture, and good subtitles. That's more than can be said for the entirety of his Hong Kong catalog.

Well, I think his idea was "I want a long-term narrative instead of just seeing a Romero movie for two hours." Which works in theory. But A) Kirkman can't dream of approaching any of the allegory or thematic weight of Romero (Romero got shit on for saying TWD was "just a soap opera" when he's about bang on), and B)…

Well, that's easier to tell, since I see them all time in promotional interviews, so I'm pretty sure they don't.

It and Powerpuff Girls. Dexter's Lab & Ed, Edd, N' Eddy are on iTunesxin their entirety including the special, but you're fucked if you don't have an Apple TV. Johnny Bravo, Courage et al got one season and then just stopped. I'd like to hope that this will reignite a little interest in Cartoon Network's originals,…

Mind: blown.

This is Gore Verbinski, after all. Same mold.