Ooooh you caught me being hypocritical! :) I didn't say I don't gobble this shit up; I do, like Cheez-Its.

Tootsie Burns is such a rich person name, I can hardly stand it. Also, here is my guess as to who her father is:

ALL the drugs and alcohol, rachel? ALL OF THEM? krokodil? k2? really sketchy ecstasy?

Maybe she realized the tatt was tacky? Wait. No. C'MON JEZ! Don't you have a spare 10K laying around so we can get to the bottom of this??

I know different people are interested in different things, but this seems excessive, no? All this speculation & theories & shit lists. I've never really gotten along with my brother-in-law...but it's normal to not get along with everyone in your life, yes? I realize they're celebrities so there's a sense of…

Not all married white women!

Love this. Especially after a night where my eight year old asked if he came out of my vagina and when I said yes said "oh no! I'm a vagina baby!" I could have told him that just about everyone is but I was too amused.

Nobody tells you that in your sleep-deprived state, it sounds like the breast pumps are talking to you (sometimes in a mocking tone!) and you think you might be going insane. ;)

The milk comes more like it's coming out of a showerhead and not a hose!!!! That was a random surprise, lol.

Can I add to the pain & sexualize topics: that huge new milk breasts can HURT from their fullness for a long time. I used to reflex punch my husband for weeks anytime he even accidentally slightly brushed up against them. (Not just in the nipple area, but especially there.)

At first, it hurts. And it doesn't help that all the books and youtube videos (as well as the 2 jerk lactation consultants I went to, thanks for nothing Hoag) just echoed the chorus, if it hurts you're not doing it right. What a great thing to say to a brand new mom who is already feeling useless!

Who are the dipshits voting for Caffeine over CHAMPAGNE??!!??

Karma for people who eat/make foie gras: somehow the foie gras has been replaced with actual vomit

What if I'm laughing at you're comment?

Shay Mitchell is stupidly good looking.

Anyone who picked Franzia over Dogfish Head 90 Minute IPA, GET OUT. 90 Minute is the Nectar of the Gods.

I'll just say... nothing.

I seen? Come on.

I feel like any woman who has endured pumping will agree: a mere earthquake will not stop you from your task if it means you risk spilling a DROP of that liquid gold. You work HARD for that shit. Natural disasters aren't going to take that from you if you can help it!

TEAM CHAMPAGNE