I have exactly one uppity Christian mom on my Facebook feed (my kid was friends with her kid, I was unaware of the zealotry) and I cannot bring myself to flush her. Her Facebook page is like a circus train derailment, it’s so comically that I can’t look away. I am weak.

I had a LOT of fun in my twenties, then had two kids so I guess this represents my vag to crazy, possibly fictitious god sandwich lady.