I have puppies and my folks always wanted me to be a lawyer?

Those of us who used to live in Japan find it hilarious that all these Westerners romanticize school life in Japan just from anime.

If you were actually a high school student in Japan you would hate your life. It’s all so Kawaii! Yeah, till you’re in cram school until 6PM after getting to regular school at 7AM. And…

Hades just announced they were restructuring to seek new opportunities as the afterlife becomes increasingly digital. Most of Hades’ assets will be moving to China.

Also, Fiorina just got a 5 million dollar flaming parachute.

Otherwise known as Obama.

As long as you’re not one of those yahoos teaching them that all art history is racist so they should never study anyone but aboriginal fingerpainters who practiced safe sex and believed in gender equality (oh, and were trans activists, too).

Good decision. She can always pursue her passion on the side.

I would say good job except I don’t know what kind of lawyer you are.

Because if you’re a defense lawyer for huge corporations or millionaire affluenza kids then instead I would say something very different.

Kingdoms of Amalur was a good game.

White men gave women the vote. White men freed the slaves. White men passed Civil Rights. White men created Amnesty International, Doctors Without Borders, the Red Cross, and most major charities.

Norman Borlaug was a white man.

Tell us again about how evil white men never change the world for the better.

So quotas?

I’m not sure what you’re driving at other than people have to grow out of old thought patterns.

Just because there are more female college graduates doesn’t mean that this particular job (let’s say engineers) is going to have a majority female applicants. Searching for this and instead stretching to find…

It helps when you’re super rich and have private planes. Not interacting with the serfs really does wonders for soothing your ego.

Just pull your pants up to your nipples, Chris. You know you want to.

Unsuccessfully run for X is just the generic title for everything in Christie’s life.

Political office.
Weight loss.
Morals.
Satisfying sex.
A dropped hoagie that is seven and a half feet away.

Speaking of a narc. Who let you in here, narc?

Go put on a suit and tie for a Boss Concert? Okay, let me get my tux ready for Nickelback.

Chris Christie is like Rob Ford’s less successful, separated at birth, third brother. Because if Ford had moved to America and run for President, even he would have been less embarrassing than Christie is.

He was mentioned in my classes.

As the last french man to actually win a battle. . .

Still more informed than Fox News.

Is this gym in war-torn 1994 Bosnia? That is the saddest, darkest gym I’ve seen that doesn’t have a serial killer dismembering coeds in it.

I still send people this article when I want to better articulate why I dislike ESPN so much these days. Except for PTI I don’t watch a single show anymore and back in college we used to have it playing on TV 24/7.

Look at how popular those fuckin’ Kardashians are. The audience exists and its the male version of the vapid morons who support the Kardashians.

Mouth-breathing rubber neckers who traded in Maury Povich for ESPN.