Just pull your pants up to your nipples, Chris. You know you want to.

Unsuccessfully run for X is just the generic title for everything in Christie’s life.

Political office.
Weight loss.
Morals.
Satisfying sex.
A dropped hoagie that is seven and a half feet away.

Speaking of a narc. Who let you in here, narc?

Go put on a suit and tie for a Boss Concert? Okay, let me get my tux ready for Nickelback.

Chris Christie is like Rob Ford’s less successful, separated at birth, third brother. Because if Ford had moved to America and run for President, even he would have been less embarrassing than Christie is.

He was mentioned in my classes.

As the last french man to actually win a battle. . .

Shakespeare wrote tragedies and comedies. In tragedies there were betrayals, people died, and it ended with some kind of funeral.

In comedies, there were people playing dress-up, speeches about love, and people getting hitched.

Was he redundant? Internet nerds (underachievers who think they’re smarter than everyone…

I dunno. Why do more boys get killed drag racing their Honda Civics?
Why do more girls excel all-around at school while boys usually just focus on one subject?
Why are more men killed in war, by other men?

Isn’t the answer pretty obviously a combination of our biology and shared cultural history (male violence and…

Still more informed than Fox News.

Is this gym in war-torn 1994 Bosnia? That is the saddest, darkest gym I’ve seen that doesn’t have a serial killer dismembering coeds in it.

I still send people this article when I want to better articulate why I dislike ESPN so much these days. Except for PTI I don’t watch a single show anymore and back in college we used to have it playing on TV 24/7.

Look at how popular those fuckin’ Kardashians are. The audience exists and its the male version of the vapid morons who support the Kardashians.

Mouth-breathing rubber neckers who traded in Maury Povich for ESPN.

Always Fox.

ESPN still has PTI, with a similar format but I always think of the anti-Bayless show.

Snyder has even found a way to fuck up Marvel. Great.

It’s just crossfit, bro.

So Katharine ‘writes’ three paragraphs and then links to someone else’s video or picture and that’s a day of work for her?

Man, I am doing so much free labor for facebook.

yet another white woman has to save the day Katharine?

I thought this was 2016.

Also, didn’t you know that the Alien series is a thinly veiled rape analogy? So if you support this series aren’t you saying you don’t care that it triggers rape survivors? So you’re a rape supporter?

For shame. It’s 2016. I thought we’d…

I love Afro Samurai, but really, Luke? Not a peep about the cultural appropriation here?

Just a black man dressed in traditional Japanese clothing and no one is going to bring up cultural appropriation? It’s almost like the SJWs at Kotaku have selective outrage syndrome.

That’s awful. No one should have that kind of stuff sent to them.

In other news, I’ve been called a racist, told to go die, been told that I’m a rapist merely because I’m straight, been told that I’m a pedophile, and been told to go die a whole bunch more.

According to their names and pics, all by women.

When I game…

I know, right. I mean people keep saying that Shakespeare is great, but Hamlet is like #SoWhite! OMG!

And then I was watching this Seven Samurai movie or what-eves and there were like no black people at all? #RacistKurosawa!