1. The Mets were involved

Tom Brady beat up his girlfriend, threw her on a pile of ammunition, and threatened to kill her.

Oh wait, no, that’s the guy who will play against the Patriots in Week 5.

Tom Brady killed Cecil

Oy gevalt.

no no NO! This will only serve to enable them; what are you DOOIINNG?! Glove and Boots were right....we’re headed towards vertical theatres

In my opinion, Chris Christie is the ideal candidate to be our next President of these great United States.

He started the night facing away from her, but then turned over 13 times.

This is exactly why I don’t play professional hockey. That and my inability to ice skate.

Holy shit, hopefully the recovery progresses and there are no lingering effects.

Loss of speech and motor function is beyond terrifying.

I still don’t understand why this is an issue. Are some people still expecting a post game interview that doesn’t have the same fucking boring questions with the same boring answers?

It was actually Tom Collins. Sadly, they’re alcoholics.

Also the Tom they were talking about is Thomas Paine. They are real Patriots after all.

It's a school night. That always keeps attendance down.

Holy shit! That fucker can jump?

This was hilarious, not even caring about Allen standing next to the rim:

Clearly Goodell wasn’t satisfied simply throwing Brady under the bus - he had to blow it up, too.

Michael Bay: [cums]

"Autocorrect and autocomplete can be ... very funny features"