Unfortunately, the IOC has banned the helmet and its knight motif on the grounds that it caricatures an archaic and historically oppressive institution.

Rikishi: I did it for da Rock!

He'd probably find a way to blame Daniel Bryan.

"He can't talk, but he was just smiling a lot and he was just fist pumping. They said as soon as we saw you jump, his face just lit up and he was just fist pumping and stuff so that made it so worth it for me," Torres said.

Ryan Miller's mask looks how a Toby Keith album sounds.

He's never seen a medal in the flesh

Russian Police officer #1: "What a great collar."

You know son, there's another drug you can get high on. It's called, "responsibility".

What happened to the old Deadspin? Ever since Burneko joined it's been Fertittas this and Fertittas that. I like my eggs scrambled like every other red-blooded American, goddammit.

I can understand why Saban was so angry. Hanging out with her current sorority sisters really cut into her time for finding new sorority sisters for next year.

Barring that you couldn't see Manning or Brady just (neither of those teams are volunteering) wouldn't those be three QBs that you would most want to have followed around? Is Big Ben gonna do something stupid? How often is Eli gonna call Peyton or Archie, is that a thing? Doe Cutler have any friends at all?

Sadly, I can't see HBO not picking the Giants given their fanbase, the 2 recent SBs, the disaster this season, plus Eli & Coughlin have that whole Dennis the Menace / Mr Wilson thing going on.

Sorry Greg, I love this piece but I have to side with Kayla on this particular issue. Were it me, I'd honour her request.

The Jaguars edition would just be four weeks of Shad Khan negotiating with the city of Los Angeles. What fun is that?

A group of five gentlemen enters the office of a talent executive. They say "we've got the most amazing basketball show you've ever seen" and proceed to engage in a series of acts including murder, incest, rape, coprophilia, coprophagy, bestiality, and necrophilia, all while dribbling and shooting a basketball.

I want to stick up for Kayla a bit here, because given Sherman's energy in the moment it's clear Andrews was afraid, not of Sherman, but that he might say something either profane or derogatory toward her employer. He very easily could have been complaining about, say, something Troy Aikman said about him. An unspoken…

Melo wasn't shaking his head at that ugly play, he was shaking his head because nobody passed the ball to him while he was on the bench.

In order of how interested I would be in watching:

1. Bears
2. Cardinals
3. Jaguars (likely to draft a new QB)
4. Rams
5. Giants
6. Bills
7. Raiders
8. Steelers