Never have I felt such a strong connection to Principle Skinner.

The Presidential Medal of Freedom can only be months away.

“I see your lawyers are very expensive, so your objections are sustained.”

Here’s another reminder boys and girls Bobby Kraft and people of his ilk are just like you.

Happy Ending for Manipulative Rich Penis

I’ll say this: I’m 35, and the thought of waking up two years from now and finding myself in a high-profile social media makeup feud with a 19 year old boy feels like one of the more embarrassing directions my life could potentially take.

If you begin a sentence with ‘I hope this doesn’t offend you’, then you probably shouldn’t keep going. I didn’t think this needed to be explained, yet here we are. 

I’m so scared for her. The dudes who pull shit like this to begin with? They don’t get better when they get angry.

...and change the uniforms like every year, and tear down a fun part of the ballpark to make everything a bit more corporate and “classy” and Yankees-y, and install a smug asshole that’s a hero to another region to condescendingly run your team and blame you for not loving it...

The business problems with marketing the Marlins isn’t so much the talent on the field, it’s the fact that in South Florida, there are a thousand things people would rather do than go to Marlins Park, for example snort cocaine and take a speedboat out at 3 a.m.

To be honest, gaslighting morons in Florida isn’t even that hard.

Somebody who forced a Gold-Glove shortstop to third base when acquired by his team while putting up some of the worst defense ever at that position has the same right to talk about accountability as our current president has to talk about morality.

I don’t know what I like more, that Hough turns to the camera liks getting smacked in the face with a hat was the greatest moment of her life or that Abdul appears to be totally invested in Pia Zadora cosplay now.

Reads like a Nunes memo to me.

These conversations are good, and for the next year, I hope we have them and we all fight like hell on behalf of the candidate we wish to represent the party.

That Tesla exploded in Shanghai yesterday because it caught a sneak peak of this shit. 

It’s Game of Thrones, if you’re not actually having sex with your sister then watching her have sex is the next best thing

Short, sweet, and to the point. She tagged Williams in it too, making the trolling all the better. No word yet on what Williams thinks, but they like to rag on each other, so odds are she’s raising her own glass to the bit.

Or y’all could do one better and get rid of the gross nationalist exceptionalist singing of “God Bless America” at sports altogether.

I’ll just be over here holding my breath.

The way to think about the rule is that it’s designed to prevent a defense from taking advantage of ‘defenseless’ runners and getting more than 1 out on a play where they should only be able to get 1 out.