Right car brand....wrong model. Should have used a FORESTER.

An Italian Ship caught fire.

“Audi A3, A5, RS4, RS5, and Q7 models, as well as some Porsche Caymans, Boxsters, Cayennes, and reportedly four 911 GT2 RS models” But the fire started on the car deck so there had to be at least one Ferrari.

Article VII, Section 12. Paragraph 4:

Nah. They’ll cast Candice Cameron Bure just to piss her off.

You can pry my bread and tortillas from my cold dead hands. Bury me in burritos.

He was African-American, but good try on the race bait.

My daughter calls that, "a speed turn!"

In Boston, our trains set themselves on fire. MBTA calls it "adjusting for schedule". 

...vital to the transportation of billions of tons of freight and people

THE SIGN SAYS 55, SO I’M DRIVING 55, JUST LIKE THE SEMI TRUCK NEXT TO ME IN THE RIGHT LANE.

Or, today’s vehicles are built comically large for the environment in which they have to exist. 

Alternate headline: Dowel Movement Turns Cummins Engines to Shit

Things my city does not have: a subway, $30 cheeseburgers.

I’ve been using the web since 1995, and in that time, I can honestly say that I’ve never stumbled upon child pornography.

It’s a lot easier to find new art and share it on Tumblr than DeviantArt. 

The word"entitlement" gets thrown around a lot. In this case, however...

The kind that comes in gallon cans with a plain white label.

And it would be different if they walked down and moved the car how?

Why do they need an AC system? Just don’t play on either of the sunny days they get.