The keen-eared Giants fan immediately notices, faintly, in the background, the welcome sounds of Duane Kuiper rasping out another delighted home run call

THANKS OBAMA

I know man — I ran an 11.4 100m in college and that's...fairly fast. Still nowhere near Watt, who incidentally can forklift a 320-pound guard off his feet

I clocked him at 7.6 seconds for an 82-yard return. 0% of Deadspin readers could run that

Look, a "boycott" is dumb. But with precious few exceptions, the Bay Area media plays lapdog to the franchises in this area. Shulman's kvetching is not the same as investigative journalism, which is absent since the Fainaru brothers left town.

Puig is redefining Punk Ass Bitch. A 1-2 curveball in the dirt and he's peeved? I wish he'd be man enough to actually go after Bumgarner, who'd tear him to pieces

The NFL needs to get its head in the game. With 15+ penalties called regularly per game, it's becoming as unwatchable as the last two minutes of an NBA game

Savage

I'm much more interested in what Galen Rupp is doing

Holy shitballs. Go to 6:30 and be prepared to be amazed

Two words: merino wool.

"Tournament"?

Seems hard to believe, but I think I can top that.

Serious question: with the Ravens eating a multi-million dollar contract, what are the chances that they and the NFL came to a back-office agreement to get reimbursed to get rid of Rice?

Easy for you to say. This fella drives a Volvo XC90, the only male inhabitant of said car

Bosworth up front, party out back

As a liberal, arugula-eating, myopic white-collar worker from Marin County, California, I've never been so happy to see a posse of guys with hack saws in their trucks and multi-tools on their hips. Well done, fellas.

I was so mystified by the inability of the Bay Area press to dig into the bizarre firing of the Warriors' Mark Jackson that — after the full story came out in the national press — I contacted the Bay Area Sports Guy, a local blogger. He said all the beat reporters were too busy for investigative stuff, and didn't…

50-year-old PR guy here. Am willing to take on both Greg and Taylor next time I'm visiting Elizabeth St. Will wear whatever.

Should have seen it coming, still laughed hard enough to give me an asthma attack