The garbage man probably thought she was keeping a mountain lion in there.

Be thankful that you’ve never had the pleasure.

Yes, somehow I had enough gas in my intestines that it replicated a turd.

There’s a racecar in that picture?

Am I the only one who misses the car numbers being more prominent on the cars? I realize that it takes away from the all Holy Prime Sponsor spacing,but...

I thought his name might actually be “Clarksonyouimbecile” or “Whatapillock” for a time.

/Googles “basket stanchion”

Don’t be surprised if you get a fax from the USATT’s lawyers in the morning.

498. A shot to the head from Vontaze Burfict

Folks in the office are wondering why I’m giggling like a 12 year old.

Say it with me.

Is there a reason that you cannot use a knife, which has performed this function admirably since the Bronze Age?

Is there a reason that you cannot use a knife, which has performed this function admirably since the Bronze Age?

“...nobody wants to make a decision about what they want to eat, but I know that whatever I choose, people will shit on me for ordering something they don’t like.”

Plus, most humans are painfully ignorant of their own particular variety of bromhidrosis. No one else need to revel in your stink.

‘xactly.

Has Trump explained yet how he plans on keeping said Muslims out of the country? What’s the process for this? I checked my passport and nowhere on it does is say “Kareem N’dKoffe- Muslim”. So how does it work?

Double Secret Muslims

“The NFL is strongly opposed to gambling.”

On a side note, if Punk ever makes a comeback “Shit Swastika” is gonna’ be my band’s name.

Can’t my childhood just be left alone, please?