But the hand dryers give you bacon.

I hate him! He’s so smug and he ruins every movie with his need to butt in with his science shit. Did they really need to fix the night sky in Titanic? If Titanic needed to be fixed it would be so Rose would make room for Jack on that damn piece of wood, not because the stars in the sky weren’t right.

This will be a tough challenge, citizen. On one robotic hand, people watched her streams because of the sex appeal she has, the main selling point of watching her streams, much like people enjoyed watching me get blown to pieces by small arms fire.

obligatory

Ah Monkey Island, the game where I learned one of my best life lessons...

Ha I remember entertaining my wife with a skit when we discovered our old Garmin had multiple accents you could select. I was saying I’d program in an Irish accent that would be like “ah Christ! Yiz were supposed to make that last right yeh fecking eejit! Recalculatin fer fuck’s sake.” Every so often it would just say…

made by OptimusTimelord.

“Tech blogger butt-unlocks car as 2 kids walk past his car, then chases them down, harasses them, and becomes frustrated when they can’t describe what sorcery took place.”

Sonic Boom!

Steve, I can't help but think that the bullet point list should be in the article, along with your analysis. Mentioning 8 points but then spreading them into paragraphs with no clear headers is a little frustrating as a reader.

It's not even a catchphrase. It's like a mental illness.

Well excuUuUuUuUse me, princess.