Given your comment history, I knew you were an idiot. Now I have mathematical proof. Thanks!

Did you hedge? You’re an idiot if you didn’t.

The SWAT officer who pulled the trigger is to blame. The person who called the fake incident into the police is to blame. The person who passed along the victim’s address is to blame.

This week’s column actually solves itself.

I also would love to know. U2 is basically the father of Creed and Nickelback.

That’s a weird way to spell Magical Mystery Tour.

Bands whose albums you should rank, ranked:

Couldn’t this same ideology be applied to shirts or pants?

Unless you’re a lifeguard, I can think of no work place where it’s appropriate to walk around barefoot.

Work in a real office.

Interesting, my tiny worm also hasn’t had sex in quite some time.

I’m not even going to pretend to be Tommy for this post, because, in real life, I’m a lawyer in the Virgin Islands. Thankfully I’m on the mainland for the holiday weekend and delayed my flight

I’ve enjoyed everything I’ve seen of Harington comedically. He’s fucking amazing in Seven Days in Hell, and his sketch on Seth Meyers is still one of my all time favorites.

You are aware that boxers are commonly referred to as “fighters” and a boxing match is typically referred to as a “fight,” correct? And even technical or defensive boxers are known as “technical fighters” or “defensive fighters.” And he’s 49-0. If Laura had called him one of the greatest knockout artists or sluggers,…

Having sat in a few of these post-game pressers, and watched a ton more, NOTHING is more insulting to the profession than the beat reporter who clearly already has decided exactly what their story is about and asks for a quote to fill the space they’ve allotted for one.

Counterpoint: Fuck Gonzaga also

Just spitballing here, but one way of avoiding this nonsense might be to hand a 10 game suspension to a player who gets recalled and immediately gets a match penalty. There’s no other reason Sestito was called up except to fight and to unleash dirty hits. He’s has no place in the NHL.

Then you are not as liberal as they come. You’re not that liberal at all, actually.

The vast majority of human beings are numskull illiterate cretins so it works out ok.

I don’t know why any car has built-in GPS, or any other feature my smartphone can handle on its own. Tech goes obsolete hilariously fast, why would I want it embedded semi-permanently in my dash?