When you run into your 8th grade algebra crush at the bank.

Your line about an ongoing turf war between the geese and seagulls makes me think of some kind of West Side Story drama. Imagine geese and seagulls snapping fingers and honking eaat ch other!

Or just pay some fucking 12-year-olds $25 bucks each to pick up goose shit, you complete fucking imbecile.

“The AP reports that Golisano is refusing to pay a $90,000 school tax bill.”

In his defense, geese shit like crazy. We had a pond behind our house when I was growing up, and the neighborhood kids were ALWAYS trying to navigate around geese droppings. You actually couldn’t play barefoot in your yard, and it was a bitch to mow the lawn at times.

Um why exactly would property maintenance be the towns responsibility. They aren’t town owned geese. Do they remove the snow nature puts there in the winter too?

A woman in my office loves this show and I swear to God this morning she told me she was throwing out her old Crockpot because of the danger. I told her I heard that wasn’t really something likely to happen and she was relieved.

I see that Diane Keaton is taking the Lena Dunham approach to things.

So, in order to diversify the cast you cast a black guy as... the manservant.

Yeah, cool it you street artist person. Not because Streep is who she is, but because... HOW THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW, she knew? Streep explained herself quite well, and I believe her.

Also, I saw someone point out that Spurlock’s comment about being alcoholic for the past 30 years really undermines Super Size Me, since at one point in the film a doctor says that his liver “looks like an alcoholic’s” after eating McDonald’s for so long. Like... damn. We now know that he was an alcoholic. That’s not…

Me too.

Book of Superpowers has Batman on the cover.

Not sure where you’re living but it would literally be impossible to get a package deal like that in NYC.

Yeah, I don’t know if this writer has kids or not, but Netflix is almost essential with kids. I definitely get my $14 worth.

I totally get it but for one thing. I’ve recently rediscovered my love of stand up comedy and Netflix seems like they are singlehandedly bringing back the stand up special. When I was a kid, HBO was the go to for these specials but I don’t really see them anymore.

If pajamas of myself were available, it would only be right and just to wear them.

I can’t even be in the same room as Event Horizon. My dad and I saw it in the theater thinking it was going to be a regular sci-fi movie (starring Sam Neill!). Boy was I wrong. My dad thought it was dumb as hell but I was terrified the entire time. A few years later it was on loop on the campus movie station for a…

I feel the faint stirrings of warmth creeping into my cold, dead heart. I want it to be true, but I’m wary, so very wary.

I discovered her in the mid-1990s when my best friend told me about The Robber Bride (which remains my favorite of her books to this day and one of my favorites of all time). I can’t say I’ve read ALL of her books, but I’ve read the majority of them. She’s long been one of my favorite authors.