It's more likely that her lack of upper body strength (not to mention her pesky vagina!) is keeping her from properly sharpening the knives.

Oh. Yup, totally missed that.

#hashtagsdonthavespacesgrandma

Jimmy Fallon, is that you?

When I worked at McDonald's in high school in my VERY rural small town, the only time parents asked for the boy's toy for girl children was the week the black Barbie princess was in rotation. I got in trouble after one really nasty woman twisted up her face in disgust and said "Don't you have a white Barbie? No? Then…

Ok, I know that violence is never the answer

Don't they have other things to worry about? I also am guessing that Leonardo DiCaprio does not carry the same influence with teenagers as he did when I was a teenager, and he really didn't have much then.

FALSE. Sandwiches take almost zero upper body strength to produce. Unless you can't open the mayonnaise.

Strong women make better sandwiches. FACT.

Texas brought us Burt. It's gotta be ok, right? ... right?

I HAVE THIS VIBRATOR

I guess you've never heard about the opening of Stravinsky's Rite of Spring?

Poor Jenny McCarthy. Looks like she might have the flu. Too bad there's no way to prevent that...

Snake Eyes and The Baroness hit the slopes

I kinda like that look on him. Is that weird?

Vegan cake?

This guy is a shithead, but I just want to clarify something you said- you should NEVER shoot to injure someone. Only ever shoot to kill. The idea being, of course, that you should never want to kill someone unless you are physically in danger of being killed yourself, ergo, you never shoot anyone.

Oh, I would have if I understood technology well enough to do so. :)

Hey! I like both equally! Costner's RH was full of fabulous lines. Plus, Alan Rickman and Morgan freeman were the bomb.

There is no Robin Hood for me other than Kevin Costner.

I refuse to acknowledge that Teddy Roosevelt never rode a moose. You can spell it out to me until your fingers have become bloody stumps on the keyboard and then shout at me until you are blue in the face, Teddy F'ing Roosevelt rode a moose.