Mental note: start going to these awful festivals with supplies of feminine hygiene products. Profit!!!

What an asshole. I hope you find (or have found) a better gynecologist.

I can’t stop laughing. Cats are such assholes. I thought my cat was an asshole for vomiting on my pillow (while I was away) but THIS is just so much worse. I’m so sorry!

I enjoyed your story very much. Also, I googled Lance Gross and...hot damn.

This might win, and I am so sorry. Holy shit.

OMG. So on a trip to SF for work several years ago. I should preface this by saying that I have migraines that sometimes are triggered by food but are always triggered by lack of sleep.

I was overcome with horrible cramps and that hot-cold-sweaty-OMG-something-awful-is-about-to-happen feeling while shopping with my 9 year-old at Trader Joe’s. I told her to take the cart, and I was going to the bathroom at the back corner of the store. I sprinted, and made it just in time to avoid an embarrassing…

I also love that they thought a pregnant woman passed out and started having a seizure AND STILL GAVE HER NO ASSISTANCE! Life is precious, my ass.

I don’t know if this counts or not, but here we go.

A few years ago I was working as an environment reporter at a small newspaper on the Gulf Coast when some of my buddies from the Department of Wildlife and Fisheries invited me along to cover the release of a rehabilitated sea turtle. I was like, BEST ASSIGNMENT EVER.

When I was 11 I went on a trip to Disneyworld with my family. Luckily for us, a shuttle launch was happening at Cape Canaveral one of the nights we were there, about an hour’s drive away. So, the night of the shuttle launch, after a long day of Disney-ing, we piled into the rental car and drove towards Cape Canaveral.…

When I was very young, I went on an internet dating site date at a bar. We met up there and when I arrived, I saw that the guy really didn’t look like his profile pic i.e. he was a total fug (harsh, I know, but he was). Sadly, his personality didn’t make up for his looks and our conversation was just awkward, he…

Epilogue: I'm finally going back to Disneyworld for my birthday/halloween. It'll be my first trip back since the...unpleasantness. Pray for me.

OH MY GOD.

Oh my gosh I’m actually here when a Pissing Contest goes up! And I have a story! The fates have aligned!

Okay, so, I was on a field trip, I was 10 years old, we were on a bus, I get bus sick. So, obviously, I threw up on the bus on a field trip aged 10. Boring story. EXCEPT! I _knew_ I was going to get sick, and when I…

I worked in restaurants all throughout my 20's. Sexual harassment is a part of the job, so much so that, as both CA Pinkham and the woman in this story say, you just grow accustomed to it being a part of the job, ESPECIALLY from the kitchen staff. I have this strange feeling even typing this, that just acknowledging…

You fight that urge! No excuses! I'll be 59 this week and mine is a beautiful blue/grey/teal and I get at least one stranger complimenting me on it every single day, which is great for someone statistically regarded as invisible.

The day somebody invents an actual permanent bright-color hair dye that doesn't fade in a couple weeks or transfer to your sheets and shower walls is the day I devote the rest of my life to crazybananas hair colors.

Seriously. I am embarrassed - and I live in Florida.

We all need to take a minute to properly appreciate the awesomeness that was Carol's dialogue in this finale. Rarely has one character had so many great lines in a single episode: