Admit it tho. Watching DiMatteo win Chelsea the Champions League made you cry tears of joy.

If they were playing anybody other than Arsenal, I’d agree. Diego Costa is just a turd all over - from his antics to his choosing Spain over Brazil, I have no reason whatsoever to like the guy.

I do not have a dog in this fight (BvB!), but there are few things better in the sport - outside of the actual game - than world-class jackass Mourinho consistently annoying the effete Mr. Wenger.

This is the one that me and my buddies quote to each other at work when morale is low.

Sounds like you’re jealous you didn’t come up with Hingle McCringleberry.

First Kim Davis and now Tebow. When will America stop persecuting people who are terrible at their jobs?!

They would rather play with only two than have Tebow be their third.

He posts about Nazis, picks (and loses, terribly) a fight with a journalist, and generally acts like a petty toddler with a worldwide megaphone (this just the most recent episode of a broader pattern of similar behavior) and receives a suspension.

I would genuinely love to see how he polls in Rhode Island.

5. 1976-1992
Bad clothes. Bad hair. Bad music.

WTF?! Seriously, I know this is a joke blog post, but given that we’re living in the worst period of modern music this is quite a silly statement. Bad cloths? Obviously, Bad hair? Absolutely? Bad music?? You sir, have no taste.

“At the conclusion of last season—the one we just stated was all but mathematically over about a third of the way through...”

Can we stop with declaring the Premier League over ridiculously early? It’s laughable when commentators do this in March. But in August??

I feel like Chelsea have been kicking Stones’ tires all summer. Assuming Everton are willing to part with him, it would have served them better to be up-front about their asking price in July, so they could actually find a replacement.

Usually Bears don’t fuck up a pool until September.

Di2re2pectful

One thing I’ve been wondering about: Sterling is only 20 and far from fully developed as a player. City doesn’t have a record of developing young talent, although I know they’ve spent a shitload of cash on their academy facilities - they usually just buy established stars. Thoughts? Does City have the coaching depth…