Much less of a moral quandary: I want every article about him to mention that he was a cop. 

Woke up to my cat meowing loudly because she wanted me to see the gift she’d bought me — a half dead mouse, which she had placed on my pillow about an inch in front of my nose. I was less than appreciative. 

Nah, it’s poorly written and poorly characterized and Snape’s whole redemption arc at the end is about how he helped kill Lily because she wouldn’t fuck him but he feels really bad about it. I read them all as a kid and got into it because they were a fantasy series all my friends actually read but even then I recall…

I hope she really killed him because he deserved it.

Those cooking scenes make cannibalism look awesome. 

For a couple years I was best friends with a girl I’ll call E. She was lots of fun but also very volatile, especially when drinking. In retrospect, I don’t think we’d have been nearly as close if she hadn’t needed a place to crash in the city/someone to smoke her out while she was unemployed and living at home. That…

“My boobs got significantly larger and the ONLY WAY anyone could have noticed is if my roommates ratted me out.” 

No, you are not misreading, this does in fact cause an explosion. As he learns. 

I love press-ons and wear them roughly 90% of the time. This is probably the longest I’ve gone without in years. I haven’t been able to see the point but I am sorely tempted and might put on a set tonight.

ALL BIRDS ARE GOOD BIRDS. 

I was putting on a full face with winged liner and contouring most days before this. Now I do it once or twice a week. I’d probably do it more if it didn’t feel like such a waste.

I remember being SO MAD when I was a kid and we moved from a house with stairs to a house without them. I had plenty of other reasons to be upset about the move but I was particularly salty about not being able to play all the weird stair games I’d played in the old house. 

In retrospect it must have been annoying to clean up, but I don’t recall ever getting told off for it so I’m guessing all the adults in the house just decided it was too cute to put a stop to. 

Me and my best friend used to pour water all over the kitchen floor then get naked and slide across the kitchen on our stomachs. We called it “playing penguins.”

This carnitas absolutely slapped. We made tortillas from scratch to eat it with, because bored. 

Shop at Asian grocery stores. They’re never that crowded and they have pretty much everything in stock, at least from my experience in NYC. I’d seen the empty shelves on social media but not IRL til I went to a Whole Foods today, for the first time since this whole thing started.

Rhubarb pie > strawberry rhubarb pie.

I’ve laughed harder at other specials but I definitely laughed. The bit at the very end after the credits had me howling.

I read Mel semi-regularly and had no idea it was started by DSC. It’s pretty good? Like not exactly groundbreaking journalism but pretty interesting variety of contact. 

I don’t think it’s a good look, but oh my god are there hoards of people who would strongly disagree with you about bubble butts in latex, and I am one of them. It’s fetishwear. It’s supposed to be sexy!!