Dibs on “Orphan Memory” as a band name.

That conspiracy is like arguing that every Scooby-Doo villain was a criminal mastermind.

I’m with you other than being willing to pay for another Pirates movie. They want me to watch it, I’m gonna be looking for that minimum wage for my efforts.

1. It was funny, and a solid summer-popcorn movie. 73% on Rotten Tomatoes (which includes tons of low reviews and some overly exuberant ones), 60% on Metacritic. So, not groundbreaking, but pretty okay. Critical reviews tended to run along the lines of “It’s fun, you’ll want popcorn, but it’s not Citizen Kane,” and…

I guess if we’re just jumping straight to insults, go enjoy a bowl of donkey dicks with your mother. You want to talk about dumb arguments someone always makes? “We have our own problems on Earth, why are we messing with space” is a classic. Straight from the 70s. And it’s amazing how often it’s immediately backed…

You’re saying we should wait until we’ve conquered the darker aspects of human behavior before considering spreading out to avoid extinction events and to obtain needed resources?

That’s a solid point, but I wonder if Fox News would pull an Alex Jones in court and claim it’s an entertainment thing. I think I remember them dropping something like that one time several years ago in response to some kind of suit.

You forgot that tidbit where they claim to have a full recording of the conversation, meaning they got recording devices into the White House.

Are they actually accusing the Clintons of murder and conspiracy on television?

The Planned Parenthood video - 1. Not directly connected to Democrats and 2. Shown to be so false that the guy who produced it was convicted of a crime.

On the upside, we can now be sure that many of the conspiracy bugaboos people are afraid of - aliens, etc. - must not be real, because Mike Flynn and the Trump campaign have had access to all those secret files for months and haven’t accidentally been caught trying to sell us out to them yet.

You’re probably right there. He doesn’t even really need any provocation to say a bunch of crazy shit.

Honestly, I think you just stole a line from SNL’s next Alec Baldwin bit.

You doubt that an old man with bad posture and no chin who doesn’t know how to use manila folders is an effective backup to the U.S. Secret Service?

I wonder if they’ll have to finally be honest and just come out and say “We don’t like that women have control of when and whether they have children?”

You can be funny without jokes hinging on racial stereotypes and LGBT-bashing, too.

Is it number of movies that indicates quality? Because Uwe Boll has made a bunch at this point, and I’m not sure he’s growing as an artist or whatever.

Is American Dad funny? Or are you addressing a different part of their point?

No one I saw it with expected to cry over a person described by one member of our group as “Space Merle.”

That’s a fair point, I guess I shouldn’t expect Russian conspiracy theorists to make any more sense than American ones. At least no one is shooting up a pizza place in Moscow as part of an “investigation.”