“I’m going to build a big, beautiful wall around Redwood and I’m going to make the Apes pay for it.”

I’m more self-conscious about my small feet.

I have to lie when I go bowling.

Who’s Paul Wesley? Are any of these REAL PEOPLE?!

Whenever I think of Joe Johnson, I always think of someone trying to come up with a fake name really quick and failing.

“How can you say it’s so white? We cast 9 black men!”

You mean ask why “Like Magic Mike,” a cross-over movie where Bow Wow puts on Channing Tatum’s old g-string and becomes an amazing male stripper, never happened.

The Port Jackson Shark somewhat resembles an erect penis, no?

He’s a little more SLOP than TLOP

I feel as if this is the perfect time to bring back this contestant’s vicious shade.

I wish I could use the Omega 13 and go back 13 seconds before I watched that entire Tim Allen Fox News interview.

He’s by far one of the worst interviewers on late night tv. He had Jason Statham on once, and instead of asking questions, he resorted to telling Jason his favorite moments in Spy and doing an impression of him....

Also, I hate how he plays his own games. I don’t need to see you do Lip Sync Battle, Jimmy! I SEE YOU ALL…

So happy that my favorite shutterstock photo and description of all time is the cover. “Beautiful Fat Cat With Obesity Doing Some Yoga In The Garden in Spring ” is just A+ copy. http://www.shutterstock.com/pic-320108444/…

A flow so unimpressive, he’s doing ads for Progressive.

Chris Berman consistently looks like my Uncle did right before he died.

Hoping Garry Marshall lives long enough to churn out at least “Arbor Day,” which would just be 90 minutes of Zac Efron, Kate Hudson and Bradley Cooper struggling to plant a Flowering Dogwood.

While I agree with you, the execution of that point was completely muddled. This article was 90% shitting on Reynolds and 10% making a great and vital point. It should have been the reverse.

I don’t know, this just seems a bit unnecessary. I was expecting to read about some terrible thing Reynolds did or said in the past to justify it to no avail. At the end of the day, he’s a nice guy and he’s legitimately talented so who cares? In today’s world, when celebrities are constantly letting us down with the…

Great stuff, as always, Kara.

I think it’s pretty easy to overlook that aspect of it in a tweet rant that included not one, not two, but three references to Wiz’s “cool pants.”

There were far worse things tweeted today than this one from Hibbert. It seems like Deadspin has been overtly negative in recent months. In a world so shitty in general, it used to be nice to read about what you guys liked about sports, instead of finding everything you hate.

I’m worried that you might not write enough about how the Sixers are garbage. Do you have more scheduled out for the rest of the week? (-_-)