I think we know who watches the Watchmen in the DC universe:

If you play this backwards, Laura Palmer projects from the surface of the vinyl and tells you your arms are heavy and the owl beings live in the woodshed. ALSO — Barb is in the Black Lodge so stop looking in the Upside Down.

Seriously though — aren’t there any red-blooded country and contemporary Christian stars who would leap at the chance to perform for the Inauguration?

The Women, All That Heaven Allows, Mildred Pierce, Imitation of Life, Now Voyager and — yes — Jezebel. All films that are melodramatic, antiquated in a certain way, brilliantly acted and yet may also pass the Bechtel test.

I euthanized my grandmother last night. We put the Food On Franklin podcast on for her to listen to as the poison was injected into her veins.

10/10 Perfect execution and the pun stuck the landing

I would love it if Hillary came out with Gaga wearing a meat pant suit.

I have the entire series on DVD including the awful Cathy Lee Crosby film.

ALSO: I love the scene where the employee got bribed because he was caught on film having sex with a host in the off mode. I thought the crime was going to be that he was an employee sampling the merchandise, but then Elsie call him some kind of ‘necro-perv’. So having sex with an robot is only not cool when its…

Is this orgy programmed to go on at Westworld every night? Whats the guest-to-host ratio? If you’re a guest at the orgy, can you get a random host to go gay if you request it? Wouldn’t there be federal laws in whatever alternate American universe this is to regulate mass robot sex?

Yeah Jonathan was one of my favorites. Maybe he’s too creepy for most people?

Well, Debbie Downer, you could have just summarized this entire post in one single sentence — “I got a rock.”

Wait, is that a glimmering beam of starlight coming out of her hoo-ha?

Anthony Weiner is at home now, thinking, “YAY THEY’RE TALKING ABOUT MEEEEEEE.”

This is like the perfect analogy for the uber-wealthy in their ivory towers (or concrete structure) vs. commoners maneuvering freely through the dirt..

That figure has just risen to the mathematically impossible 160%

Not that haven’t greatly enjoyed Jezebel’s (and Gawker media’s) brilliant onslaught of nicknames for Trump, but this situation has become so dire that I can no longer find amusement in such phrases as “Sketchy Cheetos sculpture.” :(

Reminds me a bit of Halloween III: Season of the Witch, you know, the Halloween movie that has nothing to do with the Halloween movies?

This was an actual recap. Unfurling it in a list of questions seems like a good way to recap the third episode of a series drenched in mythology.

So is Michele Bachmann the Black Widow and Sarah Palin the Scarlet Witch, or is it the other way around?